Gifts and Giving | Pujakins

Heartwings says, “Giving needs to be enjoyable for the giver as well as for the recipient.”

Stephen and I were discussing what to give friends and family for Christmas. We have a list, as always, and in previous years, we have accumulated gifts throughout the year and mailed them or given them away at the holidays. However, there no longer seem to be the choices as in the past. Covid dried up the yard sales where we used to find fun things. Lately, being less mobile, with less time, shopping has not always been an option.

Furthermore, one family member told us she didn’t want any more things. It seemed she and her husband were eliminating, not adding. More recently, we have ordered food gifts from a catalogue that carries a variety of packages of meats, sweets, and cheeses. Some we used to send to were on special diets, or didn’t eat some of the things they used to eat.

I thought about the plethora of catalogues piled on the sofa and sighed. With limited energy and restricted motion there would be no fun going to a mall or even a department store. It was getting late for online shopping especially if we needed to be wrapping and mailing anything to relatives far away. Christmas giving is supposed to be fun. It wasn’t feeling that way.

Then I thought about how nice it was to be able to chose something, using a gift certificate. The answer to my dilemma appeared in flashing lights. Exactly! The perfect solution: gift cards for purchases on Amazon. I turned to Stephen and shared my idea and he agreed. Problem solved. People get to choose what they would like and fortuitously, no postage need be paid by either giver or recipient. It was a win- win situation.

My grandmother always gave my parents some cash, brand new crisp bills from the bank, together with a carton of cigarettes. This was very welcome. As an old friend used to say, “cash makes no enemies.” My father told me that after my grandmother passed on, and he was going through her things, in her bottom bureau drawer he found every gift he had carefully chosen for her re wrapped, brand new and unused. He said it made him feel sad. I don’t blame him.

Her sister, my Great Aunt Alice, used to give strange, even weird gifts that no one cared for and usually could not return because their point of origin was unknown. I do remember one such gift I received from her which was a wood burning set. I had no idea what use to put it to, and for years it gathered dust on the top shelf of my closet.

Each Christmas my dad wrapped the gifts he gave to the gardeners who took care of the estates where he was hired to do tree work. Some got cartons of cigarettes, others ties, and a few got liquor. He wrapped each gift carefully and delivered them himself. It is fun to recall these special holiday memories.

May you enjoy your special holiday memories and share them.”

Blessings and best regards at the holidays and always,

Tasha Halpert

debs-mantle My parents did not believe in getting too excited about Christmas until much closer to the date than most do now. They didn’t do a lot of shopping either, until closer to the time. I have heard some say they have all their presents bought and wrapped before December first! I remember ordering special things from the catalogue that came to the house some time around Thanksgiving, and feeling excited when my simple gifts arrived. As a child I only gave to my parents and later to siblings. Once I got to play Santa too, shopping in the dime store or Grants in Beverly for stocking presents was a great treat.

Despite the fact that these days Christmas catalogues come in the mail long before Thanksgiving, giving gifts is only one of the many rituals and traditions associated with the holidays. We had a few very simple ones, and my parents didn’t make a big deal out of decorating. These days most of us have much to do as the holidays approach. There are the cookies and other special foods to think about. The entertaining of friends and family is another ritual. Many businesses have staff parties and a lot of people entertain in their homes. These gatherings are not confined to the holidays themselves but take place throughout the time from Thanksgiving to the New Year.

The traditions and customs of the holidays have been accumulated over the centuries from a variety of different countries. In America now more than ever we have a melting pot of nations. While many of us grew up with primarily European customs derived from a combination of pagan, Christian, and Hebrew stories, myths and historical remembrances, the addition of African American, Spanish, Indian, Asian, Middle Eastern and related peoples from other parts of the world has enhanced our holiday observations.

Like Christmas tree ornaments taken each year from attic or basement, today’s families pick and choose what to keep, which to use, and what to discard. The little paper cutoouts children made in kindergarten, the funny ornament Aunt Bessie gave us, the fragile glass bird carefully passed down from generation to generation are all part of the decorating rituals. Fashions may change and what looked cute once may look rather dated in the light of a new generation. The same is true of observances and rituals.

Regardless what we choose to do or not to do as the holidays come around, what really matters is the meaning of the act, the memories associated with it, and the good feeling it brings to the heart. For some it’s midnight mass and singing carols that warms and enlivens, for others it’s the Chanukah, or the Yule or Solstice feast that brings gladness and renews the spirit. At the darkest time of the year, as we participate in them, the bright memories that surround our holiday customs bring a sense of light and joy to the heart.

Tasha Halpert