Heartwings Love Notes 1077: Duty, Obligation, and Love

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Heartwings says, “Small acts of love sustain a relationship over time.”

Stephen and I have been together for more than 45 years and this year in July we will have been married for 43. If you were to ask me what keeps us together, I could give you several answers, and they would all be correct. However, in my opinion there is one that stands out above any other: we do our best to be kind to each other. Of course, there are times when one or the other of us, in an attempt to be kind, metaphorically steps on the other’s toes. However, all is quickly forgiven when the one with the stepped-on toes informs the stepper of the error and a discussion ensues.

The codicil of this kindness is a dedication to honesty and truthfulness about feelings. We’ve learned it’s all right to say “ouch” when necessary, and usually to do it tactfully. “You made me…” is not a good way to begin any kind of conversation featuring a complaint. Neither is “Why did you do that to me?” Owning up to one’s feelings is vital. To say “You made me angry when you…” is not helpful. What is, is rather, “I felt angry when you…”.  This is fair and honest. It is important to allow oneself the luxury of being vulnerable enough to admit to being hurt, while not being accusatory and making the other feel uncomfortable.

Kindness in small ways is important. Stephen washes the dishes as a gift to me for doing the cooking. I appreciate this, especially since I know he doesn’t really like doing it. Sometimes I ask him if he would mind if I did them, and he may say yes, or no depending upon how he is feeling. I actually don’t mind doing them, and I even find it soothing to have my hands in warm, running water, however I appreciate his doing them as a loving gift. When I tidy the bed in the morning, opening the covers I’ve straightened to air the bed, I make it easier to make later. This is a gift of love I give Stephen because he makes the bed.

These little daily acts of love between us are not extraordinary or big hearted, but they are part of how we express our love for one another. Small gifts he finds here and there from his forays into thrift shops, thoughtful gestures like holding the door for me, or handing me my cane, are other simple offerings of love and caring that keep love in the forefront of our relationship. Asking each other if one or the other is happy several times a day demonstrates this as well. We live in close proximity, in a small apartment, and it would be easy to get irritated with each other, however we don’t because we are tender with one another, as well as honest. I am grateful to him for his caring, as he is grateful to me. We express this often. It also helps keep us both in love.

May you find happy ways to express your love to your dear ones.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

P. S. Your comments, dear reader, are always welcome, as well as any tidbits from your own experiences. Your correspondence makes me so happy, so please, do write when you can.

A Report on a Very Special Book

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Heartwings says, “Reading a good book is a pleasure and a joy.”.

When I was in school, I always enjoyed writing book reports. Ever since I learned to do it, reading has always been especially enjoyable for me. Book reports were never a chore because I liked to share stories or information that pleased me. To this day I often recommend what I am reading to a friend who I think might also enjoy it.

Recently, I joined a library book club and the chosen book for the past month was one called Wintering, by Katherine May. Once I began to read it, I was hooked. Now, having finished it I feel so enthusiastic about this book, I am recommending it not just to my friends and family but also to my readers. Perhaps this “book report” will encourage some of them to at least get Wintering from the library, if not buy a copy.

Because the amount of time I have to read has for several reasons diminished, I normally read for entertainment only. My genre of choice is urban fantasy fiction. Wintering is neither fantasy nor fiction, it is a thoughtful, beautifully written book about the times in one’s life that resemble winter: dark, difficult cold, difficult, even painful.

Writing from her own ordinary experiences, May has brought to light what we all have to live through at times. The periods she terms winter are those bleak weeks or months or more when nothing seems to be working, when we feel sad, lonely, incompetent, perhaps even depressed, and more.

That may not sound like an enticing theme. However, it might surprise you. May shares the way she has learned to move through these times with grit and grace. She speaks with frank truthfulness about her feelings and how she deals with her ups and downs, her triumphs, and tragedies. The reader is carried along with May in this compelling book about how she copes and also even how she can’t.

The author is British, and the places she speaks of have unfamiliar names, but the circumstances she has to deal with do not. Illness, dismay, disappointment, and failure fill these pages, and then they are overcome by fortitude, energetic coping, and the author’s special, ultimate courage–whether she succeeds or fails in whatever life has handed her. Sometimes overcoming one’s feelings of inadequacy after a failure, provides a different kind of success.

Along the way she also shares stories of others, and there is interesting information as well, tucked in here and there. Most importantly, this book is not preachy or “New Age” in its philosophy. May is a serious professional whose writing has been widely published. She doesn’t offer anything trite or shallow by way of solutions to difficulties. Instead, she shows us by example how she dealt with her issues, and what that was like for her. This is an inspiring, authentic book written from the heart, presented in beautiful, clear, sometimes poetic prose.

May you enjoy learning both from books and from experience.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS If you do acquire this book, please tell me how you enjoyed it, I always treasure your responses and will always write you back.

Heartwings Love Notes 1074 A Little Rain is Good for the Garden

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Heartwings says, “The acronym for fear spells false evidence appearing real.”

Recently I had a small series of bumps in the road of life. Taken individually, none was particularly serious. Taken as a whole they were a reminder to me to be grateful for what I ordinarily might take for granted. For instance, when I run the water in the sink I expect it to go down the drain, don’t you? Yet when it is reluctant to do so, something must be done. And I did all the things I could think of to do: plunging, pipe clearing liquid, more plunging, hot water, waiting patiently, more pipe clearing liquid, etc. When nothing did any good I opted for the plumber. He took care of it nicely and that was that–until the refrigerator refused to be cold.

A series of attempts to make it run properly failed and another repair person was summoned. Now I have a guarantee I have paid for that lasts a full year, and although I hope the refrigerator will continue to provide cold, at least I feel secure about further repairs should they be needed. It is so easy to take things like the refrigerator for granted. Naturally I expect the washing machine, the dryer, and the vacuum to function efficiently and when needed. However, these little glitches in my everyday life have alerted me to the fact that I do need to remember to be thankful for what I might otherwise take for granted.

Then there was the little popup that kept appearing on my computer screen. It reminded me that I needed to renew my virus protection. “Your computer may be at risk,” it proclaimed. Ought I to tremble in my shoes? I reminded myself to be careful not to download anything potentially hazardous and waited patiently until my computer friend was able to remedy that difficulty. The popup too reminded me to be grateful for my remarkable computer and its gifts to me.

When I was growing up, I would read stories about robots and the marvels they could perform. Somehow, they always walked on two legs and had arms and fingers. Mostly made of metal, like the tin man they had a kind of brain and could speak. Unlike the tin man they performed a multitude of tasks and cared for their owners. Today I am surrounded by “robots.” They don’t walk around or have conversations with me yet they can be programmed to do what I want them to do when I want them to do it and indeed, they do take care of me. They may not physically resemble the robots of the science fiction I once read, yet they fulfill many of the same functions.

I am grateful for my mechanical servants. I appreciate the stove, the washer, the dryer and the vacuum. Having read once in an article on the Feng Shui of India that suggested it, I have even given them all names. I praise them when they do my laundry and cook my food. Most of all I am grateful to them for the hard work they save me from. Truly I am grateful for the little bit of “rain” that fell on the garden of my daily life, it has been good for the garden and even better for the gardener.

May you handle your rain with grace and strength.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

How do you handle your rain? Can you avoid getting wet or find good ways to stay dry? I do love it when readers share their stories. Write to me at Tashahal@gmail.com and make my day.

Heartwings Love Notes 1073 Small Economies for Big Savings

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Heartwings says, “Paying attention to the truth behind advertising really helps.”

Newenglanders have a reputation for thrift.  “Use it up, make do, or do without” is one example of the thrifty frame of mind. Prices for everyday items like food, gas, and medicine rise every time payment comes due—or so it seems. These days thrifty habits are a necessity. A mindset that puts thrift at the forefront is extremely helpful to the budget.

I can remember my grandmother taking her foot off the gas to coast down hills. My mother found a way to use up every scrap of leftover food. I employed my old-fashioned meat grinder to grind up leftover lamb or beef for pot pies or casseroles. I have always made my own applesauce. Not only is it cheaper, it is more nutritious because I do not peel the apples before I cook them—putting them through a food mill once they have been the slow cooker overnight. I also use half cider, half water to simmer them but never any sugar.

Soup does come in cans, but the only kind I buy are the clam chowder we like. While I am reluctant to cook anything too labor intensive these days, I am happy to make my own soups with lentils or split peas. Leftovers, often combined in good ways, are used up creatively.

 Normally nothing in my kitchen goes to waste. I’ve even discovered that fruit that seems overripe or to be going bad can be cooked up instead, sweetened, and used as syrup for pancakes, waffles, or plain cake. See if you can find a recipe for Cottage Pudding and bake up this inexpensive plain muffin style cake to serve with any sauce for an economical dessert. Email me if you can’t find one and I will give you my recipe from Fanny Farmer’s. That has many good, inexpensive, and helpful recipes and ways to sav

I get annoyed by the advertisements that want you to save money by spending it. It’s false economy to buy something on sale unless you really do need it. No matter how tempting the “sale” may be, if you don’t need it or are tempted to use it to replace something adequate that you already have, it’s no bargain. Spending to save is ridiculous. So is getting something “free” that will get more expensive later. Reading the small print is very important.

Once it was fashionable to be chubby. It meant you had plenty of money for food. Now it is fashionable to drive expensive cars, carry a trendy pocketbook or wear certain name brands of shoes. This is how people get corralled into running up credit cards that have exorbitant interest. I can say I get tempted too, yet I know how to resist. Being grateful for what I already have is my secret to keeping myself free of the urge to buy more. Of course, thrift stores are another way go, Think thrifty and save.

May you discover wonderful ways to economize that cause you no pain.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

P.S. What’s your secret to saving? Write to me at reply on WordPress or at tashahal@gmail.com It’s a real treat to hear from readers, and I always answer. 

Sweet Treats for Happy Smiles

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Heartwings Love Notes 1072 Sweet Treats for Happy Smiles

Heartwings says, “Baking for loved ones is a special way of giving to them.”

I have always loved to feed people–not literally with a spoon of course, but by the spoonful. Some of my favorite recipes are sweet treats. I know we all need to be careful not to consume too much sugar, however it’s important to have things we enjoy to look forward to, and dessert is one of them.

Brownies were the first thing I was permitted to make. My mother never trusted me to fix any significant food, but she figured I could be trusted to bake something simple. These blond bars are simpler even than chocolate ones, being made all in one pan, and they are very true to their name: Disappearing Caramel Brownies. The recipe can easily be doubled for a crowd.

Disappearing Caramel Brownies

  Bake at 350 in a metal pan or 325 in a glass one, 20 mins till firm to touch.  Do not over bake or though still tasty, they will become like rocks!

Ingredients:

1 cup brown sugar

¼ cup butter

1 egg

1 tsp baking powder

¼ tsp salt

½ tsp vanilla

¼ cup chopped nuts

1 cup flour

Method:

Heat butter, sugar in saucepan.  Stir slowly till sugar is dissolved, then a little longer to have it somewhat liquid.  Do not boil.  Cool slightly.  Add beaten egg, salt, vanilla, baking powder, nuts and flour. Stir well to incorporate all the flour.  Spread in 8 or 9 inch pan.  Bake for 20 Minutes. Press lightly with finger. Ovens may vary. If it makes a slight dent, remove, otherwise bake one or two more minutes. Rest for 10 minutes then cut into 16 squares cool in pan and remove when ready. These bake up well with alternative or gluten free flours also.

If you make a double batch bake a wee bit longer, perhaps 10 minutes more in a 9X12 pan. Do not over bake or they will be difficult to cut, let alone chew.

These cookies are very quick to make and very tasty. You can use a low sugar or fruit sweetened jam to reduce sugar. I call them Jiffy Jam Delights. Unexpected company coming? No problem! You can mix and bake these simple cookies in a half hour total.

Jiffy Jam Delights

Ingredients:

1/2 cup butter (no substitutes, please)

1/3 cup sugar

1 egg

1 tsp. vanilla

1/4 tsp. salt

1 2/3 cups all purpose flour

2/3 cup jam (raspberry preferred by us).

Method: Beat butter, sugar well. Add egg, vanilla salt. Blend in flour.

Drop from a teaspoon onto greased sheets. Make a dent in the tops of the cookies and fill with a half teaspoon or so of jam. Bake only until firm and dry to the touch.

Bake at 375 for 10 minutes on a well greased cookie sheet. Makes 30 to 36 delicious cookies in a half hour from start to finish. Cool before eating. Jam is very hot.

May you enjoy these or other home baked treats, even perhaps making them with a child’s help.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

Valentine’s Day Thoughts

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Heartwings Love notes 1071 Valentine’s Day Thoughts

Heartwings says, “Love can be expressed in many ways; what is important is to express it. “

Until recently, whenever I could, since I was a small child, I crafted my Valentine’s Day cards. It gave me great pleasure. I had and still have a few lacey paper hearts, stickers with cupids and similar valentine symbols, and other appropriate decorations. I’d fold plain paper in quarters and glue these down, arranging them in fun patterns and writing humorous or sentimental words inside. Alas, I no longer have the time or energy to do this. I do, however have access to a wonderful card program that I enjoy using, so I still have a good resource.

As a young child I looked forward to Valentines’ Day at school. Cookies in the form of hearts were often served and the big red and white crepe paper covered box to be filled with simple cards was placed prominently on the teacher’s desk. Later on, when I had my own children, I helped them make their cards and mail them to grandmothers and aunts, as well as prepare cards for classmates.

The sentimentality of Valentine’s Day has of course been commercialized like other holidays, yet somehow for me that does not detract from it as the excess around Christmas can. I enjoy the displays of hearts and candy, and I’m happy I don’t have to endure endless Valentine carols. It is interesting to note that Valentine’s Day has a long history of celebration behind it.

During this month in pre-Christian times the Greeks honored Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty on the 6th, as well as Hygeia, goddess of health and healing on February 26th. Artemis, creatrix, midwife and protector of the young was honored from the 7th to the 9th, and Diana had a Roman festival on the 12th day of the month. Februata, the Roman Goddess of love for whom the month is named, signifies the fever of love. Our Valentine’s Day celebration is a modern dedication to love compiled from customs taken from the original celebrations of these times, filtered through the attempts of the Roman Catholic Church to Christianize them.

Traditional says St. Valentine (apparently there were several of them and no one is quite sure which one is referred to by this story) began the making of Valentines by sending around heart shaped leaves with messages on them. Prior to this the Romans celebrated a holiday where young men and women would draw names to see who might pair with whom for the festival they were celebrating. The Roman Catholic Church tried to take over this custom by substituting the names of saints for partners, however, their version never really caught on.

 Valentine cards began being made and sent in the eighteen hundreds and Valentine postcards arose in the early part of the twentieth century and were extremely popular as well. Many of these are now collectors’ items, fetching high prices on Ebay. Whether you make or buy your Valentine cards, you are continuing a tradition that has spread joy and happiness for many years.

May you celebrate the day with those you love, whether near or far, and do it with joy.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you or have you made cards as a child? Do write and tell me what you do for the day to celebrate love, I so enjoy hearing from readers. You can write to me by hitting reply or at Tashahal@gmail.com.

Heartwings Love Notes 1070: Small Victories

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Heartwings says, “Being grateful for small victories is better than complaining about any losses.”

I’ve read that one of the first skills a child learns is to let go. They must be born with the instinct to hold on, as any mother with long enough hair knows. It makes sense, because they need o hold onto their mothers or anything else to keep from free falling into danger. Once they learn to let go, they delight in doing it. I remember my little ones sitting in the family high chair gleefully dropping things onto the kitchen floor.

We all grow up and learn various skills that serve us until the day they don’t. I clearly remember learning to tie my shoes. My dear nurse Emily had me stand bent over my shoes until I learned to do it. I was in nursery school, aged three, perhaps almost four, depending on the time of year. Called the Woodward School, it had blue double doors. I can see them still.  My finger dexterity was never to become perfect, however I did get good enough to tie laces or untangle knots, until one day I developed Parkinson’s and the dexterity dwindled.

I remember how difficult it was in first grade trying to improve my penmanship. In time I managed to learn to write at least reasonably well, until once again, Parkinson’s took over and unless I focused very carefully my handwriting would shrink more and more as I wrote a sentence. However, I did find that by printing rather than using cursive that my writing shrank less. The ability to focus and write slowly has enhanced the clarity of my handwriting, and this is something for which I am grateful. It is a small victory in the midst of abilities that without my being able to stop doing so, are beginning to fade.

I have had to give up the pride I once took in skills I had worked on and developed. Being able to do things I once took for granted as accomplishments has transmogrified into taking pride in the smaller victories I am able to manage. I had a teacher who once said, “Rather than lament that roses have thorns, be glad that thorns have roses. I remember that the roses in my father’s garden had large thorns yet they smelled wonderful. Often the roses of today have no thorns to speak of, yet they do not have much of a scent either. Still, they are lovely.

While I have lost some of the abilities of which I was once so proud, I have gained others for which I am grateful. I have become more patient because I must be, otherwise I would be all too frustrated. Being patient with myself means I am able to be more patient with others. I have also become more compassionate, and now I have more compassion for others and am more forgiving. While these could be considered small victories, they are also big steps in being more comfortable with myself and kinder, and by extension, with others as well.

May you remember to take pleasure in your personal victories no matter how small.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS I so appreciate any comments you may have to share, or stories of your own victories. It always warms my heart to hear from readers. Thanks for sharing. Please write me at tashahal@gmail.com. For more love notes, see my website at www.heartwingsandfriends.com.

Intentions Versus Resolutions

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Heartwings Love Notes 1069 Intentions versus Resolutions

Heartwings says, “Good intentions are a safer bet than Resolutions, and more reliable.”

This year in January we in the USA have had the good fortune to have two New Years. January first is of course one. However, the Chinese New Year has also just occurred. Rather than being a fixed date, this day is calculated by the Moon. The Jewish holy days are also arranged according to the date of the appropriate moon. When I checked that wonderful source of information, Wikipedia, I discovered New Year’s resolutions, common to both the East and the West, have a long history. However, the practice is more usual in the West.

Many if not most people have probably given up on their resolutions by now. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for people making resolutions either to attempt too much at one go, to make impossible decisions, or to just be too lazy to push. Regardless of the reason, many people may quit their resolutions even before they give them a chance. I gave up making resolutions some time ago because I wasn’t carrying through, and it annoyed me. I have certain standards I like to live up to and one big one is being honest. Perhaps I too was aiming at impossible goals.

Intentions, on the other hand, make no boasts. They are statements of what we have in mind to accomplish rather than, as most resolutions seem to be, heroic efforts at self-improvement. Intentions can be built around needs or not. They can involve others, which resolutions often do not, and if they prove misdirected, they can always be restructured. They do not have to be confined to a particular time.

Intentions are something you can get up with in the morning or go to bed with at night. They make wonderful guidelines and can be very useful. As a substitute for resolutions, they can be restated to bring about or result in more success. For example: Instead of saying, “In the new year, I will exercise faithfully,” I might say, “More exercise is one of my goals for the new year.” My intention is to focus on exercise. When I do that, I am directing my thoughts in a good direction rather than building resistance to my resolve. Goals are not necessarily fixed or imperative like resolutions.

Resistance is best overcome not by confrontation but by avoidance. Because I have no resistance to thinking about exercise, I tend to keep it in mind. Then at odd moments during the day, while waiting for the kettle to boil, or something to toast, I might spontaneously do a simple exercise that doesn’t require extreme effort, like standing leg lifts or a stretch. When I don’t have to encounter resistance, I can accomplish more. Intentions help with that. Also, as I said earlier, they can be made any time and not just at the first of a New Year.

May you discover your best intentions and be sure to follow up.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Do you have good intentions for this year? Please share! Hearing from my readers is a great blessing and I thank you! Please write me at tashahal@gmail.com or hit reply.

Heartwings Love Notes 1068: Avoiding Expectations May Be Wise

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Heartwings says, “The future depends on how the present  proceeds.”

At our New Year’s Day gathering Stephen and I were sitting together on the sofa when a friend began taking our picture. The light was reflecting off my eyeglasses so he asked me to take them off. I heard the echo of my dad’s voice saying, “Take off your glasses and look pretty.” I laughed to myself and removed them. These days, confident in my appearance and no longer impressed by my father’s prejudice, I am happy to be photographed with them either on or off. My expectations have changed.  

Expectations often dominate a new year. After all, that’s how we express our resolutions.  These may or may not be realistic, fall by the wayside, or bring results. However, they may be doomed by our expectations. This failure comes about as a result of the unconscious programming behind them. Our programming is the unremembered precepts we grew up with. They are often reflected in our self talk: my weight is inherited from my mother’s side of the family or I am lazy and uncoordinated.

Do you listen to yourself? Do you hear how you respond mentally to plans? To resolutions? Here’s the thing: At the start of the new year many resolve to lose weight or exercise more. If they were listening to their inner responses, here’s what they might hear: “I’ve tried this before and failed, why bother trying.” Or, “I’ll just fail again; it’s too difficult to exercise, and anyway, I don’t want to take the time.” If the resolution involves depriving oneself of the pleasure of eating, or projects the boredom of exercise, where’s the incentive? These may be the negative expectations that arise when resolutions are expressed.

Or it may be possible to avoid expectations, both positive and negative altogether. There is a way to do this. It comes from the practice of Buddhism and is called beginner’s mind. I once had a yoga class with a teacher who said his mantra—a saying to help one grow spiritually, was “I know nothing, I want to learn.” This is an excellent way to express beginner’s mind. Back when I first heard this I scoffed, thinking that I was creating an affirmation of stupidity. This was incorrect. By affirming I know nothing,, as I later realized, I was clearing the slate of the expectations, definitions, or prejudices I might carry in my mind.

Now when I look at the New Year I see it through a lens of confidence, sure I approach it without any idea what will happen. However, regardless what does, I know I will grow from the experience because I wish to. My life may or may not go in a direction I am prepared for, That’s not important. What is, is that I greet any and all happenstance without prejudice but with the confidence that I will benefit if only by learning not to do something or else to do what is needed. That way a new year is truly a blank slate I can look forward to writing on, just to see what happens next.

May your new year of life be filled with blessings of all sorts, known and unknown,

Blessings and best regards Tasha Halpert

P.S. Did you make any resolutions? How are you doing with them? I always enjoy your comments so much. Write me on my blog or at this email: tashahal@gmail.com.

Santa is Real and his Gifts are Many

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Heartwings says. “Santa does not have to be visible to be real.”

From my childhood I remember an old nylon stocking stuffed with presents lying on the front part of the Franklin stove in my bedroom and the excitement of taking out and opening the small wrapped packages within it. Later in my childhood came the fun of shopping for small, inexpensive stocking presents and wrapping them, and the feeling of glee as my contributions were opened and exclaimed over. In our house Santa only filled the stockings. All other gifts were labeled with the name of the giver and placed under the tree to be opened on Christmas eve.

Santa was a mysterious figure in a red suit who always managed to evade my view. Once revealed as a myth, in my mind he remained and still does to this day, as real as real can be. Santa is the personification of generosity. He never expects anything, though cookies are often put out for him, and, too, celery sticks for his reindeer. He is an amalgam of myths and legends, and an important part of Christmas. There are those who think he takes away from the Christian focus on the birth of Jesus at this time, yet the details of that too are a collection of myths.

The myths surrounding Santa are built around the reputation of a real man, St. Nicholas, a kind Turkish bishop who was said to provide dowry money for several young ladies so they could get married. There are other sources for today’s man in the red suit that have coalesced around him. They all involve gifts in some way or another. Another favorite of mine is La Befana, an Italian woman who puts gifts into the shoes of young children because she is looking to give them to the Christ child. The three kings had stopped by as she was doing her household chores and she was too diligent to take up their invitation to go with them, so she set out later and wanders still, leaving gifts.

There is a German legendary figure called the Christkindl, and more figures, if one digs around on the Internet, all bearing gifts. No matter the name or the language, the spirit is the same: the spirit of generosity. Absent the commercialism of the day, the idea that we can celebrate the gift of the returning light—the Solstice, or the birth of a baby who became a holy figure, with gifts makes so much sense. In days gone by the gifts might have been placed on an altar. As time goes by, customs change, some continue and some do not, yet the theme remains the same. Giving and receiving, the returning of the light, the birth of a new brightness in the sky, and hopefully in our hearts, is what Christmas is about. 

No matter how they occur or when, may your Holiday celebrations be merry and bright.

Blessings and Best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS, Please consider sending me a few words about your holiday celebrations or anything else you might wish to share. It is a gift to me when I hear from a reader.