About Time

Pictures of Italy '11 073

Oh what a lovely dance it is

the advance and retreat

of the tide of time

uncurling, unfurling buds of leaves

then painting them bright,

red, orange, and gold with cold

fingers whatever lingers.

Then white swirls bleach the brown

pristining the town and the countryside

until the tide of time grays down

the crusts remaining. Dancing in

and dancing out hours accordion

shaping the light, day and night,

over and over again.

The merry go round goes round

and the sound of the wind, and

the sound of the rain beat time,

and again repeating the long refrain

of warm to cold and light to dark,

brightening sun to glowing sparks

in the sky, as stars revolve.

The roundelay dance of time

circles us in and circles us out

as we with the seasons sing our songs

joining our voices to make a chorus

of all the singers from now and then

as time swings round and back again

with the swirl and swoop of stars.

Celebrating Birthdays by Tasha Halpert

Celebrating Birthdays

When I was little I looked forward to my birthday. Rarely there was a party with friends, more often it was celebrated quietly within the family. This was probably just as well. I clearly remember the embarrassment I suffered at my twelfth birthday party. There were two small nude statues displayed on our living room bookcase. They were by my mother who was an artist and sculptor. These created a small sensation among my invited classmates who pointed and giggled, looking at me strangely. To me they were simply statues.

My dear parents were more sophisticated than my friends’ parents. My mother played in a civic symphony; my father was in a local theater group. They didn’t talk about sports, discuss politics, or participate in the kinds of activities my classmates’ parents did. My days were spent either by myself or with adults. I welcomed the idea of growing up. Every birthday was a step in that direction.

My husband Stephen celebrates his birthday the day before the 4th of July, and we celebrate our anniversary the day afterward. This makes for a grand celebration for us, taking place over all three days. We will have enjoyed doing this now for thirty five years of marriage. Born so close to the birthday of the USA, and being an independent person himself, Stephen feels connected to the celebration of independence that it signifies.

For myself I enjoy celebrations of all kinds. Birthdays are a wonderful opportunity for this. Over the years making up for all the parties I never had, we have enjoyed commemorating both his and my birthdays with friends. I also enjoy sending cards and even making telephone calls to sing happy birthday to special people on their day. The internet provides wonderful animated cards that cost little or nothing. Sadly some people either can’t or do not wish to open them. It always makes me happy when they do.

The birthday of our country is an important one to celebrate. Despite our faults we have been generous and supportive to many. While our growing pains have sometimes been severe, we have in the long run achieved much as we have grown. By European standards we are a very young country. There are churches all over Europe that are over a thousand years old. Nothing in this country even comes close to that. Being a young country, like any other gawky adolescent we could perhaps be excused for some of our clumsiest actions.

Whether one is a person or a country, it is impossible to grow without making mistakes. The important things is to learn from one’s mistakes, and also to be forgiving of whatever stumbles have been made in the process. The acknowledgement of oneself as a person who lives and thrives makes a statement concerning oneself. To have a birthday is to have survived another year of ups and downs, of trials and triumphs, and of defeats and victories. This alone is a cause for celebration.

Sydney's Party Blowing out the candles

Fatherhood, by Tasha Halpert

Dad fishing in fla.We didn’t celebrate Fathers’ Day with a cookout when I was growing up. I don’t remember any cookouts at all. My dad didn’t cook anything much because my mother wouldn’t let him. She said he burnt things. Nor did he help much around the house except to polish the silver. He did that because it was the only way my mother would allow it to be displayed. She felt she had enough to do without polishing it. However for Fathers’ day we usually had a nice roast or some other kind of meat my dad enjoyed.

On the third Sunday in June we celebrate Fathers and acknowledge their importance to us. Since 1908, when the first Fathers’ Day was declared their role in the lives of families has greatly changed. While there were exceptions, most fathers then had little to do with raising their young children. Even in the 50’s it was rare for one to change a diaper, bathe or feed a baby unless mom was not available. Today many young fathers can be seen carrying, cuddling, and playing with their toddlers.

According to Celebrations, The Complete Book of American Holidays by Robert J. Myers, the closest ancestor for Fathers’ Day is an ancient Roman festival called Parentalia. It lasted from the 13th of February to the 22nd. Not for living fathers it was a time for the remembrance of departed parents and kinsfolk. It was celebrated with a family reunion that began at the cemetery with offerings of milk, honey, oil and water at flower decorated graves. Afterward people went home, feasted and visited.

The first observance of both Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day in the US were in 1908. Both took place in churches in West Virginia, one in May and one in June, in two different towns. They were held to honor the fathers of the women who arranged for them. Over time, and with the efforts of a number of different people, the day finally became established. However Fathers’ Day took longer than Mothers’ Day to become official.

By 1911 there was no a state without a Mothers’ day observance. It was even celebrated in many other countries. Fathers’ Day, though celebrated on the third Sunday in June in a number of states did not become officially observed until President Richard Nixon signed a congressional resolution. Prior to that an annual proclamation was required by any state to have one.

Not every parent is able to fulfill his or her role perfectly, yet all do the best they can. Setting a good example is paramount. Young boys need to know that it is just as manly to change a diaper as it is to throw a baseball. The nurturing that comes from a father’s heart is as precious as that from a mother’s. Many young male children today will grow up with a better understanding of what it is to be a parent than they might have in prior generations. More than ever today, fatherhood and fathers deserve celebration.

To My WordPress Friends

Stephen bestDear Friends and Readers of my Blogs, Please check out my husband Stephen’s new offering under his name, Stephen Halpert. He is new to WordPress and his stories are very special. I am sure you will enjoy them. He will be posting regularly. Please leave comments for him if you are so inclined. Thanks to all who enjoy my writing.I know you will enjoy his as well. Warm Regards, Tasha

Smelling the Roses, by Tasha Halpert

Smelling the Roses

imageRoses in VAseWhen I was growing up my life was oriented around the calendar and the seasons. Living in the country I experienced the different times of the year vividly. Each time of year had its treats and its special occasions. That which was associated with them was not present at other times of the year. I am still very much in the habit of this kind of thinking. Most of all what I especially notice is the flowers that grow only at certain times of the year.

Driving along our country roads I am bewitched and blessed by the scent of the small white wild roses blooming along their edges. Essentially weeds, they are invasive in the extreme as I found out when once upon a time I planted some by the fence of our pool. It was something of a struggle to decide whether the lovely smell that lasted a couple of weeks was really worth the impressive work of trying to contain the thorny vines the rest of the time.

The tiny white petaled roses that grow wild everywhere they are left to grow are considered a nuisance and can be quite invasive. They are not welcome except where other vines grow wild. I am so glad when the season of their blossoming arrives. When I am outside I have my nose on the alert for their beautiful scent. There are a few growing near my porch. Every time I am there I am treated to their heady scent.

I also appreciate the profusion of daylilies that follow on their heels. The daisies that decorate the side of the highway are another welcome sight. There is something wonderful to me about the way different flowers arrive at different times, each bringing the gift of its color and scent to the eye and nose. Were they all to bloom at once they would lose their specialness and while they would still be lovely, they would not have the quality of unique appearance that enhances their presence.

Still, the roses are my favorite. The fact that the their season is so brief makes these tiny wonders extra special to me. Such brevity is growing rare in my life. Many foods I enjoy that used to be seasonal are now available all year round. Yet I wait to savor them in season. Local corn on the cob tastes finer than any other kind. No matter how good the peaches or plums from elsewhere might taste in the winter, I don’t buy them. I look forward to the local ones from the farm stand.

Growing up I enjoyed the different pleasures and treats that came during the year. I looked forward to certain occasions: the circus was one, another were the church fairs that I went to with my grandmother. When something nice is found rarely or seldom it becomes more special. When everything is within reach or readily available specialness diminishes. I don’t mind waiting for the Concord grapes of August. Perhaps like birthdays that come once a year, they taste better for the anticipation.

Doing Without by Tasha Halpert

Good Earthkeeping

by Tasha Halpert

Doing Without

There is an old saying that you don’t realize how much you miss something until it is gone. What I am missing right now isn’t actually gone, it’s just that I can’t have it at this time. If it hurts to chew anything that presents a hard surface it makes no sense to ingest it. No matter how lovely the experience of eating certain things normally might be, right now I have to avoid them. This is bringing me to an interesting realization.

This past week I had extensive dental surgery and as a result I cannot eat much of the food I am used to eating. Most especially I cannot enjoy the snacks I normally indulge in. While I don’t consider myself ungrateful for what I have, I am realizing that I have been taking for granted the nuts. seeds and crunchy vegetables I routinely eat almost every day. It always makes me stop and think when I realize that I am not acting the way I believe I am.

Because gratitude even for small things is a constant theme in my life I didn’t realize I was taking my snacks for granted until I had to do without them. Between meals when I am occasionally feeling like having a nibble I am used to reaching for a jar, taking a few nuts or seeds out, and enjoying them. I can’t do that now without suffering for it. This makes me realize that I took these for granted, not taking the time to notice or express my enjoyment in gratitude.

Normally I conscientiously acknowledge my gratitude for the lovely warm shower I can so easily take morning, evening or even both. I have a friend who lived for several years on an island where hot water showers were non existent, and I often think of this when I turn on the hot water for mine. When I get into my cozy bed at night I almost always remember to be grateful for its softness and for the comfortable pillows with their clean pillow cases.

So many in this world are homeless with no simple amenities like a comfortable bed and a shower. I am truly grateful for my home and for my life. I make an effort to be aware of these and to express my gratitude frequently. I do normally say a prayer of thanks when I sit down to eat. However, in the past when I reached for a favorite snack I seldom thought to be grateful for it. I believe that once I am able to indulge in chewy and crunchy snacks, I will certainly be reminded by this experience to express my thanks.

Besides avoiding their calories I have benefited in this other way from doing without some of my favorite munchies. It’s strange, too, because I did not anticipate this aspect of my experience. There’s plenty of tasty food I can eat, and I am not deprived of anything important in the way of nourishment. I can even indulge in the ice cream of which I usually allow myself only small servings. So I really have nothing to complain about. It’s silly of me to feel I am doing without, yet human nature is such that we too often want what we can’t have even though we can have something just as satisfying.Pink bush Green door 1

A Light on the Subject

Having the correct tool for any job is a great help toward successfully completing it. I’m definitely a tool person; I have a large collection of implements that I have accumulated over the years. Some of my most important ones are kept in plain sight right on my kitchen counter. Most of these are assembled in several open containers where I can reach them easily when I need them.

However, if you were to ask me what I consider one of my most valuable kitchen tools, I would say, “My flashlight.” Does that sound odd? Perhaps it is, yet when I need to locate an item on my shelves or even more importantly in my overcrowded refrigerator, the small bright penlight flashlight I keep on my kitchen counter is exactly what I need.

I don’t remember when I acquired the penlight. I believe it was a gift, and I bless the giver every time I use it. It saves me a lot of time looking for items by helping me check the backs of the open shelves I use as my pantry in our efficient but small apartment. It saves me even more precious time otherwise spent removing items from the ‘fridge in search of what may be on another shelf or in another part of it.

My refrigerator tends to get crowded with useful leftovers, important condiments, and things I make ahead to provide for quick, easy meals. Then too it holds various things to drink, like iced tea, a staple for Stephen, and carrot juice, one of mine. As well it holds the ingredients for the foods I make from scratch: cartons of chicken and beef broths together with alternatives to dairy milk…the list goes on.

As well there are other uses for my penlight elsewhere in the apartment. If I drop something tiny in the bedroom it is much easier to locate it with the use of a penlight. The focused beam sweeps over the floor and helps me to locate that dropped earring back or small ring or earring without getting down on my hands and knees. I didn’t always know this, and I don’t remember when I figured it out, yet I am delighted that I do now. As I get older I appreciate discovering ways to make life easier and more comfortable.

Shedding light on anything increases its visibility. This can be metaphorical or actual. When I shine the light of my understanding on a situation I can see more clearly how to deal with it. Information is a form of light as is good advice. The more we can see, the better we can judge what we need to say or do.

There is an amusing teaching tale that goes like this: A man came across another man searching the ground. “What are you looking for?” he asked. “My ruby ring,” replied the searcher. The second man joined him in his search. Finally he said, “Where did you lose it?” “Over on second street.” “Then why look here on third street?” “Oh, the light’s better here,” came the reply. To me the point of this story is that effective searching requires light.

Door of Mystery

Door Into Mystery

Photo and Text by Tasha Halpert

Lilac Time by Tasha Halpert

Thinking about lilacs I remembered hearing a song with the words “Lilac Time” featured prominently in it. Looking it up on the Internet I found the full title Jeannine, I dream of Lilac Time, as well as an old recording of it to listen to. It brought back memories of my hearing it as a young child. What fun it was to listen again, courtesy of the Internet and whoever was kind enough to resurrect it. Seeing lilac,s like hearing the song, brings back a host of memories.

Stephen and I were driving to an appointment when I saw a lot of lilacs by the side of the road. They were so lovely I had to stop the car to look. What was even more wonderful was the fact that there were a several different varieties of lilacs in this particular collection. What I really wanted to do was get out of the car and pick some. However, I resisted the temptation and drove on before their lure grew too strong for my will power.

I have many memories involving lilacs that go back to my childhood. There was a cluster of bushes in the back yard of the home where I grew up. There was a lattice fence in the midst of them. This helped to form an enclosed space on one side where I played house. There I made mud pies using water I would scrounge from the house and berries from bushes nearby. I also mixed up other concoctions to feed my doll family.

I kept my doll sized dishes, pots and pans and other implements on shelves made from boards stuck into the branches of the lilac bushes. These usually collapsed when it was windy. For some reason that escapes me now I didn’t mind too much; I’d just pick them up and rearrange things as best I could. I even wrote recipe booklets of my efforts, though the pages became illegible when they got soaked in rain.

There were a great many different kinds of lilac bushes next door, growing at the end of my great aunt Alice’s back yard. Her father had been a horticulturalist and most likely chose the various different varieties so that they would bloom for longer as well as present different colors in display. Some were double, some had an incredibly sweet smell. All of them were lovely. I used to pick them and bring them home for my mother to put into vases.

Each year I worried that there wouldn’t be any lilacs still blooming to honor veterans on Memorial Day. My family always went to the parade in Beverly Farms where there was a square dedicated to my father’s father who died in World War One. The children who marched at the end of it used to carry lilacs to throw in the water when the parade ended at West Beach as the band played “For those who perished on the sea. Seeing the lilacs as they bloom now I greet them with joy and with gratitude for their beauty both today and in my memory.

lilacs_2582962b

Text by Tasha, photo courtesy of Olga Stewart

Friendship By Tasha Halpert

Tasha and Brenda          My friends have always been important to me. From the time I was quite small I have enjoyed the company and companionship of at least one or two close friends, and often more. Their lives and the experiences they have shared with me have become part of my life and my experience. At times I have for one reason or another suffered the loss of a close friend and mourned it as though it were a death. As time has gone on however, I have become more comfortable with the coming and going of people in my life, and I have realized that the hole left behind is soon filled.

As my life has been long, I have made as well as lost many friends. Some have been older than I though mostly as time goes by younger. In my heart I am very grateful for all the friends I have made. Whether the friendships were long or short, all have given me something to cherish. What seems to me to be most fortunate is that I still make friends with individuals younger than I am. This will prevent me from having to say–as someone remarked to me recently–that most of my friends have passed on.

My mother once told me that my great grandmother Florence told her, “All my friends are dead and I have no one to play bridge with.” Apparently she died soon after. She was well on in years, so I’m sure that was no coincidence, still it strikes me as a bit sad. I have been fortunate to have made many friends throughout my life in a variety of ways. Given the times and the formality of her life perhaps she did not have all of the opportunities I did.

When I was a young mother most of the people I called friend were women who had children of their own. We did things together. Often we would meet at the beach and watch our children play in the sand or in the waves at the edge of the water. We’d take turns bringing iced tea to share, visit together, and chit chat about life in general and motherhood in particular. Later, groups I belonged to such as the PTA or an amateur theater group brought friendships that flourished and then faded as our lives changed and we parted ways.

When I was quite young I had pen pals from distant countries. Through my writing I have also made friends that I have never actually met. At one time I published a bi monthly newsletter called Peacemail. Some of my subscribers became friends I never saw face to face yet enjoyed corresponding with. Now there is the Internet and FaceBook; correspondence is virtually instantaneous. My list of unseen friends has grown lengthy. While I do not expect to meet most of them, I have on occasion had a visit from someone I’ve met in that way.

Friendships flourish in many different ways. The soil of their growth may be shallow or deep, the time spent together short or long. What matters to me is what we have to give one another, whether it is comfort, recipes, advice or companionship. There is a saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I never know which it will be, and I cannot care. However it may end, what matters is that a friendship is formed, and for that I am grateful.