Making Improvements

Belfast veggies 8Making Improvements, by Tasha Halpert

When I look at a situation it is often with an eye as to what can be done to improve it. I think I developed this habit at an early age because my dear mother was seldom satisfied with anything. She always seemed to have a suggestion for an improvement. Most likely I inherited my attitude from her. However, this is not a bad way to be, and I’m not complaining. Yet it’s not necessary to see a flaw or a need. Perhaps another way to think about that is to see what I might do in general to be of help or to make an improvement..

My late son Robin greatly enjoyed gardening. He loved the earth and felt very close to nature. Wherever he was living he would plant vegetables and carefully tend them. He was proud to feed himself from his efforts. In addition as do the Native Americans, he believed in leaving a gift at the site of any herb or vegetable that he harvested. He always gave back as much as he could. The size of the gift was not as important as the effort.

I was reminded of this as I thought about what someone recently said to me: “I believe in leaving the world a better place than I found it.” The speaker went on to tell me how he had learned this when he was around ten years old and had made an effort to practice it always. This conversation stayed with me for a time, and I considered ways I might make the world I lived in a better place–not because it was lacking but because I might add something.

Paying it forward is one way to make a positive difference. There are drivers who pay the toll of the person behind them, or those who pick up the tab for a stranger in a restaurant. Some businesses do a holiday practice where small gifts are given in secret. I have always enjoyed sharing little presents or passing on what I enjoy or find useful. One friend of mine liked to say a prayer when he left any seat where he sat: “May whoever sits here after me be blessed.”

It may be that sometimes we think that small gestures are not significant. I find it is surprising how a little effort can make a big effect. Smiling at people, for instance, or saying hello to people you might not know personally. Of course there are those who might look at you suspiciously, still, it is not possible to please everyone and if a person feels uncomfortable with a smile, perhaps they need more of them in their lives.

If I can’t use a grocery coupon I leave it where it may be found. I often pay a stranger a compliment. I look around for ways to bring unexpected joy when and where I can. If I see someone who needs help I offer mine. Small efforts like these are my way of adding something positive. Mother Teresa said it so nicely: “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”

Easter is a Feast of Joy

Image         About two months before Easter chocolate bunnies wrapped in gold foil begin to appear in the stores alongside Passover coins and other items relating to these two great annual spring festivals. Slowly but surely a variety of items crowd the shelves: yellow marshmallow baby chicks and rabbits, egg dying kits, and more. As the time grows closer to the holidays, beside the glorious smelling hyacinths in the market, fragrant lilies bloom.

For me as a young child Easter was always more about flowers and the occasional candy treats it would provide. My dad’s corsages for my mother and me were a big part of my joy in the holiday. I also loved it that we got to go to my dad’s church as well as my mom’s because I enjoyed singing the hymns and was given a plant to take home. As I recall it was usually a potted geranium. Hats were important too, and nice clothes–perhaps even new ones.

As the time for celebration approaches, shoppers carry away the flowers displayed on supermarket tables. Parents make up baskets with candy eggs and other tasty treats for their children. Meanwhile, Passover foods go home to pantry shelves. Like Christmas and Hanukah, Easter and Passover are celebrated primarily with special foods that pronounce the symbolism of the season. However, both of these spring feasts are rich with family centered celebrations unrelated to a focus on commercialism or gift giving.

Easter and Passover are different from each other, yet both tell a story that is important to the traditions of Christian and Jewish peoples. Both are joyous and raise the spirits of those who celebrate. This season of joy even blooms in the hearts of those who do not celebrate it religiously. The flowers and the candy, the candles and the rituals call out to the traditions that go back more than two thousand years. There is a kind of memory that is built into our brains and resonates to these symbols, increasing the feast of our celebration.

My mother did not usually cook for us on Easter. Either my great aunt or my grandmother did the honors. I remember roast beef with Yorkshire pudding, or turkey or ham, and all the wonderful foods that went with them. Mostly, though we got to go to the family feasts where I might be given a small Easter basket and was usually the only child present.

Once primitive people rejoiced at the coming of a time when trees blossomed and green herbs provided a variety to the stored, dried foods they had subsisted on through the cold months of winter. Imagine what it must have been like to make a salad or pick wild greens to fill mouths weary of winter fare. Now though we can enjoy fresh vegetables and meats all year round we have special foods to provide a feast that not only rejoices the heart but also reminds us that we honor the great traditions of faith that have for so long fed and sustained us.

Seeds of Joy

           Joy does not require anything of us. It may come as a gift of conscious acceptance of what is or is not given, or it may come as an unexpected breeze that blows through us–the sigh of an angel looking benignly down upon us wishing us well. Joy cannot be bought or sold, yet it can be spread and shared as well as flow through or be bestowed upon us.

          The seeds of joy grow easily in a grateful heart. The practice of gratitude is one of the most if not the most important of all spiritual exercises. When we remember to be grateful for whatever good we have, it will increase. When we are grateful even for that which is difficult for us to endure, it becomes easier to tolerate. As I accept what is given with gratitude it can reveal its lesson and its purpose in my life.Image

          Joy, like happiness, is a byproduct of our attitude toward life. It cannot be sought, yet it can be cultivated. Joy essentially seeds itself in our lives when we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. It is watered by love and fertilized by sharing. When I have good news, I can call my friends and tell them. When I feel joyful, I can smile at the world. It does not matter and I need not care whether anyone smiles back.

          If I smile at the world without expecting anything back, I actually increase my returns because what goes around eventually returns to me. My joyous gift is made even more powerful because I have not looked for a payback of any kind. An unconditional gift generates a joy that opens my heart to a kinder, more loving energy that in turn increases my happiness.

          Thicht Nhat Hahn the well known Zen Buddhist teacher suggests we smile often. He recommends a gentle, simple turn up of the corners of the mouth, a bud of a smile as he calls it. I can do this whether I feel like it or not at the time and it can bring joy to the heart regardless of the circumstances.

          Joy does not need any special circumstances in order to manifest. Joy can come even in the midst of sorrow as a simple lift of my heart and the recognition that life goes on and I will too. As I am able to welcome change and all the potential it brings for my personal growth and happiness, I can also let go of the clouds of doubt that could obscure that potential.

          Gratitude is like sunshine, blessing all it shines upon. Then as I am grateful for my blessings, the seeds of my joy grow and flourish. As I consciously work to accept with gratitude whatever gifts each day brings, I can discover these gifts for what they truly are: the lovely colors of my life woven into a tapestry threaded through and through with joy.

Love, Grief, and Joy

There is a Hebrew saying that goes, if there were no grief to hollow out our hearts, where would there be room for joy? I would add, or compassion.

 

We learn about pain by feeling it ourselves.  We learn about grief and bereavement by losing loved ones. The lessons life has to teach may be harsh or gentle but those that teach compassion invariably revolve around a sense of loss.  Perhaps this is what is meant by the hollowing of the heart by grief. 

 

The sense of loss makes an emptiness where there has been fullness, aloneness where there was companionship.  When we feel these feelings we can cry for them, letting our tears soothe the pain and wash it away, or we can cry out against them and they will harden to rock within us and weigh us down.  What fills that hollow place is love.  But we must pour it out to our own selves

 

As we grow older, if we absorb and process our life experiences, we develop that part of us able to look with love and forgiveness at whatever life presents. Those who die and leave us behind help hollow our hearts.  As we let go the ache of missing the physical presence, it becomes easier to accept the loss.  Time is the best healer, and patience with ourselves. 

 

As I grow on in years, my losses

Leave larger holes behind;

in my life’s landscape, grief has been useful,

reminding me that all we have is now;

we had best enjoy it because it is a gift.

 

My grief is not a weight, nor a cloud,

it is not a blindfold hiding joy,

rather it is an ever giving spring

reminding me to look, to breathe, to know

that all life blooms and fades and love grows on.

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Photo and text by Tasha Halpert

How the Sadness Became A Happiness, A Pujatale by Tasha

Once upon a time
there was a Sadness called Tears
who lived in the silence.

Tears was sad
because she was all alone in the silence.
It was so lonely that she began to cry,
and she cried for a long, long time.

She cried for such a long time
that a big pool of water formed around her.
Pretty soon she was floating.
As she floated she began to feel somewhat better,
but she was lonely because no one else was there.

She began to feel light
and wanted to feel even lighter,
so she kicked off her shoes
and began to dance in the water.

As she began to dance,
she noticed many other beings had gathered there.
They were all playing in the beautiful pool of tears.
They smiled at the Sadness and sang as they played,
splishing and splashing about.

The Sadness began to play too.
Then as they played in the water,
a song rose up in each of them
and they all began to sing.

As she joined in,
the singing grew louder and more joyous.
Soon Tears was so happy
she couldn’t even be called a Sadness any more.
The being that had once been a Sadness
truly came a Happiness,
and her new name was Smiles.

Even after the pool had dried up
and all had returned to their homes,
Smiles remained a Happiness.
Although she was back in the silence,
she was still happy.
For somehow now that she was a Happiness,
even the silence was friendly,
and Smiles the Happiness sang to herself all day long.

 

Springing Open

Brilliant forsythia fingers

fling their exuberance

into the bright blue air.

Red budding twigs

holler “here I am, shine on me.”

Forsythia sunshine

fills my eyes, Maple flowers

jingle, “Welcome pollinating friends.”

Spring buds open everywhere

blossoming their way into summer.

By Tasha Halpert

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