Thanksgiving Nostalgia

Thanksgiving is a great time to remember past gatherings. I certainly have plenty of memories from my past, filled as it is with many years of living. Those from my childhood are even more vivid than those from the more recent past. It seems odd to me, however, perhaps that is because they made more of an impression to a child.

As a very young child of five or six I enjoyed playing with the unique to me toys at Great Aunt Alice’s. She had a wooden truck loaded with carved alphabet blocks. I remember setting it out on the lovely thick, white and red Persian carpet in the big living room downstairs.

 At some point we must have moved upstairs to a smaller room where I remember sitting in the recessed window seat that overlooked the lawn and the huge old apple tree. There the grownups chatted and drank a pre-dinner cocktail and perhaps had a cigarette from the wooden box on the coffee table while I read my latest library book.

As a child of course I didn’t know this, but later I was told a non-family member, was always invited to these gatherings to help make sure everyone behaved in a kindly, courteous way—was on their best behavior, so to speak. I believe the invitee was probably a friend of Aunt Alice’s. Their names and faces do not stick in my memory.

Tales from the past were shared. One I recall was of my grandmother, Nonny. She spoke of a time when as a child she discovered the cooked bird sitting waiting to be served and tore off all the skin . She ate it before anyone caught her. Later in time that tale was a great source of merriment.

I remember being given a taste of wine or champagne at around the age of twelve. This was my father’s idea, which was not seconded by my mother. More vivid in my mind is the shallow, footed silver dish—there were two, one at each end of the table, filled with chocolates from a box. I was allowed to have some after dinner, but no more than two if even that many.

I was eight plus years older than my sister, and twelve and fourteen years older than my two brothers. I don’t have any distinct memories of my siblings attendance at these dinners; I do recall bringing my two oldest to them, though these dinners ended before their brothers were born. I’m happy my older daughters too have their recollections of them.

I am very thankful for these and other memories. they provide me with a precious reminder of a very different kind of lifestyle. The new ones of the present time bring different faces to the table, which is in a different room, yet equally laden and surrounded with smiles. Memories are an important part of the Thanksgiving feast. They provide a taste of the past brought into the present for all to share.

May you have precious memories to share in years to come.

Blessings and Best Regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Though I have less time to write these days, I welcome your responses and hope always to reply to any comments, questions, or suggestions you may make.

Heartwings Love Notes 2011: Simple Joys

Heartwings Love Notes 2011 Simple Joys

Heartwings says, “When gratitude fills the heart, joy blossoms around it.” 

Even if I didn’t have a calendar, I’d know it was going to be Thanksgiving. The grocery store circulars are filled with “Thanksgiving Specials” and holiday foods. There are all kinds of turkey specials and images of what Ben Franklin wanted for the national bird as opposed to the eagle, proliferate throughout the internet. Children are drawing turkeys, recipes for how to cook them, and other related items such as stuffing ingredients are plentiful.

Yet I feel sure we also need to be thankful not just once a year, but daily. I believe Oprah made the “attitude of gratitude” popular, and it is truly the basis for a life filled with rewards. I’ve told this story before but it bears repeating: Many years ago—over fifty now, I was on the phone with a wise woman friend, complaining about my lot. In a firm, but kind voice she told me I had much to be grateful for, to focus on that, and gave me a simple prayer to say at least three times a day. “Beloved Lord, I do greatly thank thee for the abundance that is mine.”

Because I respected her and her advice, I did as she suggested. In the months and now the many years since I began doing that, practically all my wishes have come true. My life changed dramatically for the better, and I have continued to be grateful. My focus on gratitude transformed into an attitude. I even learned to be grateful for wishes that did not come true, or aspects of my life that seemed dismaying. Seeking out the good to come out of any seeming difficulty has often proved to be a saving grace.

It is easy, especially when beginning the attitude of gratitude practice, to be grateful for the big things—a happy life, a healthy family, an abundance of good fortune. However, there is a real benefit to remembering to be grateful for what might otherwise be taken for granted: the simple joys of life. Hot showers, for instance, or a full refrigerator. My dear son and his beloved were able to make a rare visit on their way elsewhere, and how wonderful that was. However, sitting on the couch with my Stephen, just holding hands and feeling loved is a great blessing as well.

Being able to write my columns and send them out is another simple joy as well as a privilege, I very much appreciate. Friends and family calling, seeing loved ones regularly, a good night’s sleep, the list can go on endlessly, are all joyful experiences to be acknowledged. My attitude of gratitude has become almost an automatic response I make daily as the occasions arise. I believe it helps to do this, for I have read and been told many times, whatever we focus on is what we will get more of. Thanksgiving is a good reminder to all, to be grateful, and so I am definitely thankful for that as well.

May you find much to be grateful for as you celebrate the holiday.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS As you think about and practice gratitude, share what you are grateful for, I would be so happy to know, dear readers. Please know how grateful I am for every reader who enjoys my words and how I appreciate any and all comments.

Expressing Thanks for Daily Blessings

          “Take nothing for granted.” The complete stranger who spoke these words looked into my eyes; the elderly woman’s expression was earnest. She told me several more things and then vanished into the crowd waiting in the vestibule of the Cathedral of St. John in New York. I was there to see a pageant I was to take part in at another time. Her words made a strong impression on me and some forty plus years later still have. I didn’t make the connection then, but later I understood its application to the practice of gratitude.

It’s easy to acknowledge generous gifts with thanks. Gratitude for the larger things in life–good health, sufficient income, a happy family is more common. Most of us take much for granted, especially those things we rely on and use each day. Our small creature comforts too are easily ignored or remain unnoticed because we are busy or mentally preoccupied.

It is more difficult then to remember to express thanks for those small, even relatively insignificant daily gifts common to our ordinary lives. When I step into my shower, I feel appreciative of the stream of warm water, and I am reminded of my friend who lived with cold showers for months until her electricity was restored. As I get into my comfortable cozy bed and slide under my clean sheets and feather quilt I am grateful, and I do say so in my heart.

I rejoice over small blessings—a kind conversation with my daughter, the neighbor who offers to help me carry my groceries up the stairs or shovel the snow from my car, finding a book in the library by  a favorite author. Most are so preoccupied these days, it’s difficult to stop and take time to remember how fortunate they are. In my many years of life I have learned to be glad for these small gifts and others that thread my daily life with comfort and joy.

I learned this from a friend almost thirty years ago. I overheard him saying “Thank you little (memory fails me as to what it was) and continuing to express his gratitude to several more objects. Now I thank my car for bringing me safely both to my destination and back home. I thank my computer for bringing me my email and functioning as my writing tool. Can seemingly “dumb” machines hear and appreciate? I don’t know, yet I like to voice my appreciation and to treat my mechanical servants as nicely as if they were flesh and blood. It only seems fair.

People who live in countries where the only water available must be carried from a well in the center of the village would be unbelievably grateful to be able to turn on a tap. Not so long ago anyone wanting a bath had to have the water heated on a stove or over a fire and hauled to a tub. Imagine having to hitch your horse to a wagon to go into town for groceries or walk miles carrying them home.  At this season we are reminded to be thankful. It is well to remember that gratitude needs to be an everyday practice.