Heartwings says, “Self-respect is as important as respecting others.”

Self-respect is important. While it might be better known now, I wasn’t taught that when I was young. Then, I was taught to stand up when adults entered the room. I was told to listen when spoken to and not to interrupt. I was instructed to write thank you notes when I received a gift and to say” thank you,” or “you’re welcome,”, as opposed to “no problem.”  This was what I was told was good manners and a sign of respect for one’s elders. No one thought to teach me to respect myself. Perhaps I was supposed to figure that out. In those days, it might even be have been considered being selfish.

How do you teach self-respect? Do you learn to respect yourself by the virtue of being respected by others. When I was growing up, no one thought much about respecting children. The axiom, “Children are to be seen and not heard” was in full force when I was in my single digits. I was told to respect others, and it never occurred to me or to any adult that perhaps I too deserved respect, or that respect was a two-way street. In those days, I was considered to be “only a child.” I grew up with this, and for many years I had that same attitude.

My mother and her two sisters had it worse.  Their father was in the diplomatic service and the guests to their home for formal or even informal occasions often brought candy or other treats as a kind gesture for their host’s children. Their mother thanked the giver politely and whisked the candy away, saying quietly to the little girls, “This is for the guests.” One of my mother’s friends co-opted the hard-earned savings of her three sons to purchase a car. She said, “They get to ride in it, so they can help pay for it. I remember feeling shocked at the time. It seemed unfair. However, when my neighbor spoke of her children’s TV programs as important, I was surprised. That was a new thought, and I remember that it influenced my attitude toward respect for children from then on.

Since then, I have learned more about respect, what it is and what it means. I confess to being a people pleaser. This has hindered the learning process. Parkinson’s, that relentless and demanding condition, is finally teaching me self-respect. I realize I must respect my limits. It is too easy to over-tax myself in an effort to be kind and nice. I have had to deal with real limits to my mobility and to my strength. I try to expand those limits, yet I realize I must often bow to them. Lessons come to us in ways we need to learn. As I grow in my ability to respect my own limits, I also learn to do better at respecting those of others, and for this I am grateful.

May you appreciate your opportunities to learn and grow.

Blessings and Best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Learned any good lessons lately? I so enjoy it when readers share their experiences. Your emails make my day. Write me at tashahal@gmail.com, and check out my website at www.heartwingsandfriends.com for more love notes.