Tag Archives: reflections

Heartwings Love Notes: The Season of Light

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Heartwings says, “The light is always there, even if it is not visible just then.”

When I was little my mother put real candles on our tree. She had brought the holders with her from Germany, where she had grown up. My great aunt Alice, who was our landlady was somewhat nervous about having live flames on the tree, so we always had a bucket of water and a mop—the old-fashioned string kind, waiting by the tree, just in case something went awry. Nothing ever did.

On Christmas eve day, my mother and I would decorate each bough of the live tree with the silvery metallic strands of tinsel she saved from year to year. Decorative glass balls were at the bottom, smaller ones up higher. As I grew older, I was proud to graduate from hanging decorations in the back; I was finally told I could help hang the strands and ornaments in the front. My mother was an artist and she was very particular about how the tree looked.

The silvery strands we hung one by one along each branch shimmered in the light of the candles and made an awesome sight. Later when my first husband, then a college student, and I celebrated our first Christmas, we couldn’t afford to buy lights but I hung the tinsel on the branches of our table tree and set it by the window. When the sunlight struck the silvery strands, it was almost as beautiful as the trees of my childhood.

Christmas, while traditionally being about the birth of a child, is just as much about light. In the midst of the darkest days of the year in the Northern hemisphere, the first lengthening of the daylight hours begins. All over the world this time is celebrated with all kinds of celebrations featuring gifts and light.

The celebration of the Jewish Hanukah season is about a miracle involving light, as are other light celebrations of December. These include the shepherds who followed the star to the holy stable, the visit of the three kings who did the same, a day sacred to Santa Lucia replete with candles, a Buddhist celebration of the enlightenment of the Buddha, a day sacred to Zoroaster when worshipers visit a fire temple, and others.

Light as a theme is featured throughout the holidays, including the burning of the Yule log, always to include a piece of the year’s previous one, showing the continuation of the cycle of life. To celebrate at the darkest time of the year seems appropriate. What better way to bring light into the world than to celebrate it with music, gifts and feasting? We honor the return of the sun in these ways, affirming in out hearts that no matter how dark and cold it may be, we know the light burns steadily on. At Christmas I remember always my childhood tree, shimmering, its candles burning on Christmas eve, as my mother played Silent Night on her violin.

May your Christmas memories shimmer brightly and your heart feel happy in their light.

Blessings, Best Regards, and Merry be, Tasha Halpert

PS If you have any Christmas memories to share, I would love to hear them. Thank you, Dear Readers, for your comments, and Happy Christmas to all.

Heartwings Love Notes 2015 Giving at the Holidays

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Heartwings says, “Giving needs to be enjoyable for the giver as well as for the recipient.”

Stephen and I were discussing what to give friends and family for Christmas.  We have a list, as always, and in previous years, we have accumulated gifts throughout the year and mailed them or given them away at the holidays. However, there no longer seem to be the choices as in the past. Covid dried up the yard sales where we used to find fun things. Lately, being less mobile, with less time, shopping has not always been an option.

Furthermore, one family member told us she didn’t want any more things. It seemed she and her husband were eliminating, not adding. More recently, we have ordered food gifts from a catalogue that carries a variety of packages of meats, sweets, and cheeses. Some we used to send to were on special diets, or didn’t eat some of the things they used to eat.

I thought about the plethora of catalogues piled on the sofa and sighed. With limited energy and restricted motion there would be no fun going to a mall or even a department store. It was getting late for online shopping especially if we needed to be wrapping and mailing anything to relatives far away. Christmas giving is supposed to be fun. It wasn’t feeling that way.

Then I thought about how nice it was to be able to chose something, using a gift certificate. The answer to my dilemma appeared in flashing lights. Exactly! The perfect solution: gift cards for purchases on Amazon. I turned to Stephen and shared my idea and he agreed. Problem solved. People get to choose what they would like and fortuitously, no postage need be paid by either giver or recipient. It was a win- win situation.

My grandmother always gave my parents some cash, brand new crisp bills from the bank, together with a carton of cigarettes. This was very welcome. As an old friend used to say, “cash makes no enemies.” My father told me that after my grandmother passed on, and he was going through her things, in her bottom bureau drawer he found every gift he had carefully chosen for her re wrapped, brand new and unused. He said it made him feel sad. I don’t blame him.

Her sister, my Great Aunt Alice, used to give strange, even weird gifts that no one cared for and usually could not return because their point of origin was unknown. I do remember one such gift I received from her which was a wood burning set. I had no idea what use to put it to, and for years it gathered dust on the top shelf of my closet.

Each Christmas my dad wrapped the gifts he gave to the gardeners who took care of the estates where he was hired to do tree work. Some got cartons of cigarettes, others ties, and a few got liquor. He wrapped each gift carefully and delivered them himself. It is fun to recall these special holiday memories.

May you enjoy your special holiday memories and share them.”

Blessings and best regards at the holidays and always,

Tasha Halpert

Heartwings Love Notes 2014 Catalogues Abound Now

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Heartwings says, “What to buy for gifts depends upon many factors.”

Every day more catalogues arrive in our small, personal mailbox. Once I found a bill squashed in the bottom of it because the mailbox had been so stuffed. How did the senders get our names? This is one mystery I know not how to solve. I used to call or email and ask to be removed from their list. The excess catalogues seemed to me to be a great waste of paper and postage. I’d even asked at the post office about getting rid of them, but their job is to deliver, not to hold back. Since I have no solution, I just keep discarding all but the few I welcome.

I do keep a small number that we order from. There is a food catalogue that give gifts from each year. They are reasonable and don’t suggest we buy pears that are 2 or 3 dollars each. Tasty I am sure but rather expensive for something that they don’t use fancy ingredients to manufacture. Some of our favorites offer money off if you order before a specific date. This is handy and merciful, especially if one remembers to order before the due date.

When I was ten or twelve, I made the first order I can recall from a catalogue. As I remember, it was a smallish black and white one, with things I thought might please my parents. I bought them a set of ashtrays that featured a heart, a diamond, a spade, and a club on each and were shaped to fit on the corners of a bridge table. How proud and how grown up I felt to have bought them a special present from a catalogue.

My parents and their friends all smoked cigarettes, didn’t everybody? I believe tobacco was different then, however I can’t prove it. My great aunt always had a box of cigarette on her coffee table and most every adult lit up after dinner. That was then, when doctors recommended a certain brand for whatever reason I no longer remember. No one smoked constantly, it was a simple pleasure to be indulged from time to time, not a need to be satisfied. I suspect you won’t find any ashtrays in catalogues these days.

The items in some are almost irresistible, until I remember that my friends do not have any more space for new, ornamental objects than I do. I remember a long time ago reading a quote from someone requesting only gifts she could “Eat, use up, or wear.” Maybe that’s why I often end up with lovely soap, much of which I can’t use, unfortunately, due to the oils I am allergic to. I am also loaded with fancy teas. And nice as they are, I don’t need any more knit hats, either.

May you enjoy choosing from catalogues as you prepare to give your presents,

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS If you have thoughts and/or suggestions to share, I’d be so glad to receive them. For more Love Notes, check my blog at http://tashasperspective.com and click on Pujakins. You can sign up there to receive them weekly as well.

Heartwings Love Notes 2012: When Listening is Enough

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Heartwings says, “Listening is an art you can practice any time, with anyone.”

Remember when you were little and you tried to get someone—any grown-up to listen to you? They would either be alone and focused on a task, or talking to another grown-up. You’d speak louder and louder until they listened, only to dismiss what you were trying to tell them and go back to their grown-up doings. It was no fun being ignored, and often it was frustrating.

 Although today things are usually different for most children, it can still be hard, sometimes for a child to get someone’s attention. Getting a person to hear you means getting them to listen. Shouting seldom gets the kind of attention you may actually want. In my long life I have come to discover that in order to get people to hear you, you must first listen to them.

Listening is an art, and it is not often taught to children or to adults either. In most conversations, participants listening are actually thinking about how or with what ideas they will respond. Many of us do not really listen to what others are saying. Not only might the other person be speaking with a hidden agenda, he or she might simply be expressing feelings and not need more than compassionate sympathy.

Most   people hope to be helpful. They want others to feel happy, comfortable, or at least feel or be better. Toward that end they will make suggestions, give advice, or generally try to smooth things over. Many times this is not really what is needed. The person expressing the complaint may actually only be seeking sympathy and/or compassion. Often there is not much that can be done to “fix” things. To try to do so can even make situations worse. We all have our own ideas what might be done, and sadly can’t be, for whatever reason. Many of these begin with “If only…”.

All too often the phrase “if only” infers there is a situation which involves a change in a person, the attitude of another, or of circumstances which are fixed and immovable. The desired change may not be practical or even possible. Furthermore, what is actually vitally important is to acknowledge the complainer’s feelings. Whether the listener feels the complaint is justified or not, it is important for the that person to comprehend that to the complainer, it is.

There is an important rule or guide to behavior that is also part of the ancient wisdom: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  However, it is important to add: If you were they. If you complained, how would you like to be told what you did wrong? Or how you could fix something, if you hadn’t asked for help? When someone speaks of his or her trouble, what is often most relevant and definitely kinder is, “I am so sorry; I sympathize;” or just, “how hard that must be for you.” Simply listening is often enough.

May you find helpful ways to support those who are troubled or grieving.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Do you have stories to share or comments? I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at tashahal@mail.com, and do check my blog to sign up so you won’t miss a Love Note at http://tashasperspective.com and click on Pujakins to get connected if you need to.

Heartwings Love Notes 2011: Simple Joys

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Heartwings Love Notes 2011 Simple Joys

Heartwings says, “When gratitude fills the heart, joy blossoms around it.” 

Even if I didn’t have a calendar, I’d know it was going to be Thanksgiving. The grocery store circulars are filled with “Thanksgiving Specials” and holiday foods. There are all kinds of turkey specials and images of what Ben Franklin wanted for the national bird as opposed to the eagle, proliferate throughout the internet. Children are drawing turkeys, recipes for how to cook them, and other related items such as stuffing ingredients are plentiful.

Yet I feel sure we also need to be thankful not just once a year, but daily. I believe Oprah made the “attitude of gratitude” popular, and it is truly the basis for a life filled with rewards. I’ve told this story before but it bears repeating: Many years ago—over fifty now, I was on the phone with a wise woman friend, complaining about my lot. In a firm, but kind voice she told me I had much to be grateful for, to focus on that, and gave me a simple prayer to say at least three times a day. “Beloved Lord, I do greatly thank thee for the abundance that is mine.”

Because I respected her and her advice, I did as she suggested. In the months and now the many years since I began doing that, practically all my wishes have come true. My life changed dramatically for the better, and I have continued to be grateful. My focus on gratitude transformed into an attitude. I even learned to be grateful for wishes that did not come true, or aspects of my life that seemed dismaying. Seeking out the good to come out of any seeming difficulty has often proved to be a saving grace.

It is easy, especially when beginning the attitude of gratitude practice, to be grateful for the big things—a happy life, a healthy family, an abundance of good fortune. However, there is a real benefit to remembering to be grateful for what might otherwise be taken for granted: the simple joys of life. Hot showers, for instance, or a full refrigerator. My dear son and his beloved were able to make a rare visit on their way elsewhere, and how wonderful that was. However, sitting on the couch with my Stephen, just holding hands and feeling loved is a great blessing as well.

Being able to write my columns and send them out is another simple joy as well as a privilege, I very much appreciate. Friends and family calling, seeing loved ones regularly, a good night’s sleep, the list can go on endlessly, are all joyful experiences to be acknowledged. My attitude of gratitude has become almost an automatic response I make daily as the occasions arise. I believe it helps to do this, for I have read and been told many times, whatever we focus on is what we will get more of. Thanksgiving is a good reminder to all, to be grateful, and so I am definitely thankful for that as well.

May you find much to be grateful for as you celebrate the holiday.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS As you think about and practice gratitude, share what you are grateful for, I would be so happy to know, dear readers. Please know how grateful I am for every reader who enjoys my words and how I appreciate any and all comments.

Heartwings Love Notes 2010:Cloudy Days Can Be Helpful

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Heartwings says, “Weathering the days is an art to be practiced,”

Do you sigh and or feel disappointed when you raise the shades in the morning and see clouds? Do you wish for sunshine instead? It’s normal for many to do so. However, it is also possible to see the clouds as a blessing. Were the bright sun to shine down relentlessly, it would soon dry up the world we live in and we would be begging for the relief of cloudy days. Even a desert environment experiences clouds and occasional rain.

I remember reading a tale years ago where someone loved Sundays because he didn’t have to work then. He wished for a month of Sundays and soon became tired of doing nothing. Variety is the spice of life and without it, life becomes monotonous, even tedious. Cloudy days can give us an opportunity to pause and think again, to be able to rest from some tasks and pursue others.

These days are like opportunities to pause and think about whether whatever direction we are headed in is correct. I had an experience once that convinced me of the value of pausing when I didn’t know what to do.

As luck would have it, I was in New York City after a performance of a sacred drama in a church. I needed to get back home and wasn’t sure how to proceed, as the arrangements I originally made had fallen through. I was at the church where the group I was with had performed. Over the next hour or so I observed colorfully dressed people of all nationalities climb the steps where I lingered. I truly did not know what to do next, so I just waited there, allowing the time to pass without deep concern but with confidence.

The experience was not unlike having a cloudy day when sunshine had been expected. After a time, I heard someone say “Hello,” and turned to look. It was a woman who had, like me, taken part in the performance. I shared my predicament with her.  Fortunately, she told me she would be headed in my direction and said she would be happy to give me a ride. She was delighted when I offered to pay for part of her gas. We had a pleasant ride and she dropped me off at a train station near my home town so I could complete my journey.

The value of waiting quietly, without expectation, when there is no clear path ahead has been proven to me over and over. When I am patient, when I am willing to trust that a good solution will emerge for me, I am rewarded with that. When I have tried to take the wheel myself, and forge ahead in some direction I want to go, without inner guidance, I usually if not always have been sorry afterward. Trusting in the correctness of one’s direction is a major opportunity to follow the most opportune way to proceed. Experience also helps.

May you have the patience to wait for the right guidance to proceed.

Blessings and Best Regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Do you, dear reader, have a story to tell or an experience to share? Comments are always so welcome. Please make my day and write to me at my email address: tashahal@gmail.com, or if you like sign up to receive my blog weekly at https://tashasperspective.com/pujakins.  

Heartwings Love Note 2010: Celebrating

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Heartwings Love Notes 2010 Celebrating

Heartwings says, “Honoring an occasion makes it memorable and heartwarming.”

My birthday each year is always an occasion for celebration. There is almost always a party on or close to the day itself. In the past, when people asked my age, I would tell people I was ageless, but when I celebrated my eighty fifth year, I decided to state my age, and I am no longer shy about the information. My mother used to say, “You should be proud of your age.” I decided she was right. Now I am turning eighty-eight; I quote her again as she used to say, “How did I get to be this old?”

Remembering other celebrations, I am reminded of my eighth-grade graduation party. My parents held it at Wingarsheek beach, where my great aunt Alice had a cottage. They devised a treasure hunt and attendees had to seek out various clues with places to find the treasure. My memory does not include what it was, but it does hold an image of my very pregnant mom trudging around, helping the participants. The older of my two younger brothers was born soon after. The party might have helped facilitate that.

Most people enjoy celebrating and almost any occasion to do so will do. My father would often host a party for just about any reason, and my mother was good enough to be a gracious hostess. That meant supplying simple hors d’oervres, because the guests would all usually go out to dinner afterward. We used to do potlucks for our parties. Stephen has always enjoyed celebrating; our occasions used to include Friday the thirteenth gatherings we called the triskadecaphilia or lovers of the number thirteen society. We lived at number thirteen on our street, so it was quite appropriate. 

To celebrate is not only to observe but also to commemorate or to proclaim. In days long ago, celebrations were held to mark important times of the year. Harvest festivals, for instance marked the growing seasons, and our Halloween was the last of them, as it closed out the end of the gathering. They lasted from the beginning of August through the Equinox to November first. The act of celebration is an opportunity to proclaim or mark special days. Easter, May Day, Valentine’s Day, Mothers’ Day, Christmas and so on are all opportunities to make merry, and to turn a page with joy.

Regardless of the individual reasons to celebrate, the main overall reason is to highlight the importance of the time. In the days before clocks and calendars, celebrations were an opportunity to commemorate the season and emphasize the time. Later on, they became not only that but also opportunities for family and friends to get together, exchange news, introduce new members of the family, and enjoy one another’s company. My eighty-fifth was on zoom, a gathering of friends from all over the country. This one will be quieter, but no matter, it will be celebrated with just as much gusto and good fun.   

May your celebrations be joyous and memorable,

Blessings and best Regards, Tasha Halpert

PS How do you celebrate important occasions? Write and tell me, I so enjoy hearing from readers.  You can reach me at tashahal@gmail.com. For more Love Notes or better yet, to sign up to receive them weekly, visit my blog http://tashasperspective.com and click on Pujakins. Find me on Facebook too.

Beauty Is Where You Find It

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Heartwings says, “Open your eyes to see without judgement, and find beauty.”

Surrounded by the beauty of fall, it is easy to get jaded, to feel anything else is hardly worth noticing. However, all too soon the branches will be bare. There will be a few dry brown leaves clinging to the Oak tree branches and lots more of the once colorful foliage beginning to mat on the ground under foot. Shivery weather makes us hurry along then, and it takes an effort to look around us as we go from one place to the next. Our minds can be preoccupied with what we ought to be doing next, along with many other things.

But wait, there’s more that we may be missing. If we see color as the sole beautiful aspect of the trees, we need to look again. Check out the graceful loveliness of the tree branches now seen for themselves against the sky. Gaze upon the shapes of the branches revealed now, naked and proud, for all to see. The true individuality of the bare branches presents a beauty that is very special, and only if we look for it will we be able to appreciate it.

I try to see beauty wherever I look. It’s a kind of game I play with myself, and when I spot that special, perhaps unusual beauty, I take a mental photograph for my little interior album. Weeds, for instance often make wonderful subjects. Dried stalks make interesting shadows on the snow. Random green sprouts, and even occasional flowers that brave the cracks between the curb and the street can present a wonderful example of fortitude with a loveliness all its own.

It is a joy to notice such things. If our minds are preoccupied with thoughts, worries, dismay from the past, or concerns for the future, we won’t see much of anything except where our steps or wheels are taking us. We need to focus on the world around us, focus to look out of our eyes at what is there to see. I recognize that for my part, my years of meditation practice have helped me to be able to do that. I was once far too inundated with thoughts that revolved around unnecessary mental stress to allow me to see clearly whatever beauty was there to be seen.

I remember years ago remarking about the beauty of spring to someone I was speaking with at a party. She replied with a sigh that she hadn’t noticed. She went on to say she’d been preoccupied with some recent stress or other and hadn’t been paying attention. I felt sorry for her. Yes, there is much happening in the world that is tragic, yet there is nothing we can do about it. However, I believe we can at least add our appreciation and gratitude for what is lovely and good. It might help in some small way. Beauty is there to be seen, if only we have the eyes to see it.

May you be able to open your eyes and see clearly whatever beauty shines.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS If you have visions or ideas to share, please write to me at tashahal@gmail.com, or simply reply where you read me. I enjoy hearing from readers so much.

Heartwings Love Notes 2006 My Cherished Toy Remembered

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Heartwings says, “Learning to let go is important to one’s happiness.”

When I was a young child, my very most favorite toy was my teddy bear. He had arms and legs that moved freely up and down, and fur-like outsides. His eyes were not sewn on, but were made of glass and stuck in on long pins. His paws had a velvet covering, and his nose and mouth were embroidered in black thread. His “fur” was a light grey. Over time some of it rubbed away. I took him with me everywhere I was permitted to, and I always slept with him at night. Mysteriously he was usually on the floor by morning, something I never could understand until later on, when I was told that I was a restless sleeper.

Over time he acquired wear. The velvet on his paws thinned, his fur grew worn in some places. One of our dogs chewed on his left ear, making it raggedy, so I added a blue beret I had in my doll clothes collection to cover it. When I was in the first grade, I took him to school one day. When the beret covering his ear slipped away, my classmates made fun of him. Needless to say, I never did that again. When I was in the second grade, my parents took me south with them. We lived down there for several months, while my father worked on an assignment for his business. My school work was continued, and my mother taught[TH1] [TH2]  me every day.

While we were living in Florida, we took a trip to an extensive garden somewhere in the everglades. My legs grew tired, and I sat to rest on a bench with my teddy. As we were driving home, I suddenly realized my teddy bear wasn’t with me. My heart sank. I begged my parents to turn around and go back. My pleas were to no avail. They were adamant.  I never saw my teddy again. In today’s world most children have more say, and their wants are given more attention. The majority of parents today would have made a strong effort to retrieve the cherished toy. To be sure, things have changed in the past eighty years, and certainly for the better in that respect.

Some years ago, a kind friend made me a lovely grey teddy. Dressed in a pointed turquoise hat and cape he lives in my bedroom, where I enjoy his presence each day, though he does not share my covers at night. My original teddy is enshrined in my memory, where I can still see him vividly in my mind’s eye. With his brown glass eyes and his worn yellowish grey fur, I envision him on a bench in the Everglades, perhaps talking with a bird or two. Or maybe he is not there any longer, but was found and treasured by another small child who gave him a good home and even took him to bed at night.

May you have cherished memories to visit now and then.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Do you have a story of your own to share with me? I so enjoy hearing from readers. Please do write and make my day. Tashahal@gmail.com Or hit reply, I’ll answer you.

 [TH1]

 [TH2]

Heartwings Love Notes 2005 The Time Between

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Heartwings says, “The time between is an opportunity to be present with change.”

Driving the streets of the local countryside, I am struck by the green foliage that is not as yet committed to its autumn display. Here and there I see a tinge of red, a flash of yellow, with more of that than red. Fall is late this year. What is now called Indigenous People’s Day comes up this weekend, and the leaf peeping traffic will surely be diminished.

The green leaves are much darker green than they were, yet the nights have not been cool enough for the complete demise of their green. However, the warm sun of days in the seventies does feel welcome. Its nice to get out for a walk or to do errands in the sunshine. Happily, with the cooler weather my appetite begins to return and I have more energy to cook.

I seem to remember that in years gone by, frost had visited my garden by now. It seems only a short time ago that my kitchen windowsill was lined with green tomatoes hopefully intended to ripen. Usually, the garden was in need of weeding before the ground hardened, and sometimes I just let the cold frost them and wait until the spring to pull them up. The danger is that the seeds would get into the ground and grow more weeds.

My gardening days are over. With the exception of a few pots of succulents that spend the warm months on the porch, and the occasional basil plant to be used for cooking, I no longer nurture a garden of plants. Do I miss my spiral garden, from Sartell Road, or the smaller oblong one of our Warren Street home? Not really. I wouldn’t be able to manage the weeds and lean on my cane for balance at the same time. I haven’t tended a normal garden for close to ten years. My porch garden is enough for me, and when it leaves to stay with a kind friend for the winter, I will still have several houseplants to tend. They will do to satisfy my need for greenery. It is all right to follow the seasons of life and live appropriately by them.

On any given day now, I hover between getting up and lingering under the covers. I stay in when it rains and have the luxury of grocery delivery that saves me from shopping when I want to stay home. I’m not ready for the proverbial rocking chair on the porch as yet, but I do feel justified in taking things easier.

The seasons of life and the seasons of the year carry appropriate themes. My great grandchildren are in their own spring, my grandchildren enjoy their summer. Time suggests the appropriate tasks. The days between each season lead us to prepare for the next. I’m almost ready to get out my winter sweaters and warm coats. The trees are nearly ready to clothe themselves in their lovely fall garments. The seasons unfold.

May you be present with change as it occurs,

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Please feel free to comment or make suggestions for topics, or just to share. I do love to hear from readers, and I do thank you for reading.