Struggles and Struggling by Tasha Halpert

Posted on May 29, 2025 by pujakins

Heartwings Love Notes

Heartwings says, “How we frame our experiences can help them help us grow.”

I participate in an internet group of people who deal with being in some way disabled. The chief experience they share is blindness. I have great admiration for the positive attitudes I’ve encountered among this group, and most particularly those of their founder and leader Patty Fletcher. She asked me to contribute some writing about my experiences with Parkinson’s and the disabilities I cope with.

There is a saying to the effect that if all of us were to hang our troubles on a tree, rather than exchange them, each would take back their own. I have only admiration for how others cope with being without sight. My Parkinson’s, a neurological condition, presents me with extreme slowness and considerable weakness. My hands are slow and rather clumsy; I can no longer sew and dealing with buttons is too challenging. My writing dwindles as I try to form the words. I tire easily, have balance issues, and walk bent over.

Coping with these conditions, at least for me, revolves around not feeling I need to try to do more or do better than I am able at the time. Some days are better, some worse. Making comparisons between the present and the past is negative, creating even more frustration than I already experience. I often underestimate how much time anything will take me and end up being late. Of course, I fear looking awkward or pitiable, although currently I do not shake and tremble as many with this condition do. That can change.

At least at this time my mind remains clear, apparently unaffected except for some forgetfulness. I’d be surprised if I wasn’t somewhat so at my age. I feel blessed for that, and for the help I receive from my dear husband and the Elder Services available to me. My mother started losing her mental focus in her 70’s, and lost much of it by the age I am now—I’ll be 90 this fall.

My current best coping mechanism is to see my condition as graduate school, working on a Master’s in patience and detachment, enhancing my ability to keep on keeping on. I struggle with my attempts to maintain my equilibrium keeping my mind on the present and ignoring thoughts of what I was once able to do. Comparisons with the past have little to no use when it comes to making progress; avoiding that keeps me focused on what I am able to accomplish.

Heartwings Love Notes 2052 The Three Bite Rule

Posted on September 15, 2024 by pujakins

Heartwings says, “A little can be as much as a lot.”

As a child I was taught to finish everything on my plate. This was often said to me as I dawdled over what I didn’t like to eat, like liver. “It’s good for you, now finish your…” or “the little children starving in (India, China or somewhere far away) would be so happy to have this.” No doubt many of my readers heard some variation of these words.

What we hear as children often becomes gospel to us as adults. The adult results from “finish your plate” may be overweight, or even eating disorders. It is also difficult for us to overcome our childhood anathemas. Mine was boiled eggs. It took me years to get over my original dislike of them. I never did that to my children. I did, however have a “three bite rule.”

At any meal, both family members, as well as any guests present, had to take at least three bites of everything offered. This did not seem to cause any problems in so far as I could see, and it did result in some new likes, a plus to be sure.

Eating habits are something we acquire and can be changed, though with a conscious effort. Sometimes it doesn’t matter, although I believe that my husband, who actually likes the taste of liver, wishes I would change how I feel about it. This is difficult for me because I used to cut it up as small as I could and swallow each piece without chewing it, as though it were a pill.

Although my mother was not enthusiastic about sweets, and we seldom even had candy except on holidays, I have always been prone to enjoying them whenever I had access to any. Come to think of it, maybe that was why! Nevertheless, I had to learn to curb my predilection for sugar, first because of weight gain and later for diabetes.

One of the most helpful methods I ever found was contained in a book whose author and title are lost to my memory. It was called the three bite rule, and it consisted of limiting any sweet or dessert to three bites. To be sure, it does require a certain amount of self-discipline. I have had to develop this anyway for various reasons, and am still working on it. That said, I do advocate this method of being able to enjoy the pleasure of sweets without penalty.

I have also discovered that to go beyond the limit of three bites does not necessarily bring more pleasure and that the limit of three actually gives me the most pleasure to be had. Once this limit is reached, at lease as far as I can tell, the sensation of the sweet taste begins to diminish. This is especially true with my favorite dessert and treat, ice cream. Try it if you like and see for yourself.

May you discover ways to live with your self-imposed limits.

Blessings and Best Regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Do you have experiences or suggestions to share? I’d love to hear your comments. Please make my day; write to me at tashahal@gmail.com.

A poet and writer, I publish a free weekly blog, Heartwings Love Notes for a Joyous Life. My Books: Up to my Neck in Lemons, and Heartwings, Love Notes for a Joyous Life are available on Amazon. My latest publication available there is my first chapbook, Poems and Prayers, and I have two more in preparation. You can sign up for my blog at http://tashasperspective.com.

Heartwings Love Notes 2051 An Apple a Day

Posted on September 3, 2024 by pujakins

Heartwings says, “Apples are good food and good medicine too.”

Apples are good for you. An apple a day may not keep the doctor away yet it might keep the dentist at bay. Eating them exercises your gums and helps keep your teeth firmly ensconced in your gums. In addition, apples have considerable Vitamin C in pectin, which not only makes them good for making jelly but also for healing eye injuries and infections. If you get a sty or the eye infection sometimes known as Pink Eye, some grated apple will quickly help heal the problem.

Twice a day, grate a about three or four tablespoons of fresh apple, peel and all, and put it directly on the affected eye for about fifteen minutes. Remove and wash off the sticky residue. Repeat until healed.

This has worked for me as well as for friends, who saw significant results almost immediately. Once one of my students had scratched his eye in the woods. It was late at night, so I suggested the apple poultice. By morning, his eye was virtually healed.

Apples are an excellent source of vitamin A, contain a respectable amount of vitamin C, and are also high in potassium. Their calorie content is low compared to their fiber, and they make a very good snack for anyone who is calorie conscious. One of my favorite quick lunches is an apple cut into slices and spread with around two tablespoons of nut butter–low in calories, satisfying and nutritious too.

One year because they were such a bargain I bought a whole crate of apples. After a week I realized I had better do something with them quickly and decided to make deep dish apple pies. However, I had only two suitable containers. I lined my two quart casserole with foil, peeled and cut enough apples to fill it, sprinkled in some sugar and a little cinnamon, and put it in the freezer to freeze. Meanwhile, I lined the other casserole with foil and began to fill it. Once the contents had frozen, I removed and wrapped the filling securely, stored it, and began on the next one. That winter, when I wanted a deep-dish apple pie I took one out, removed the foil, placed the filling in a casserole and let it thaw. Then I made a top crust, laid it over the apples and baked them until they were done. We had seven delicious pies from that crate of bargain apples.

I never buy applesauce. I buy a bag of 3 pounds or so of apples, cut them up removing stems and the blossom ends only and put them in a large pot with half cider, half water and two cinnamon sticks. I cook them around 3 hours. Using a food mill I grind them into apple sauce and put the sticks back in. They enhance the flavor as well as help preserve it. Try it, it tastes wonderful

May you be healthy with your food choices, and enjoy your good food.

Blessings and best Regards, Tasha Halpert

Have comments, questions, suggestions? Make my day and write me at tashahal@gmail.com.

Heartwings Love Notes 2050: The Importance of Spiritual Teachers

Posted on August 27, 2024 by pujakins

Heartwings says, “Teachers of spirituality appear in many ways

.”It is a great help to have someone who can teach you or guide you. This applies especially to any spiritual work, and is certainly proven by the number of books available to be of help in a variety of situations and circumstances.

While I have explored and benefited from many different books, still my human teachers have taught me more than all the books put together. Were I to name them all, the list would be long and not necessarily of interest. However, I will tell you about two very special ones, and what they taught me.

My long time Yoga teacher, the late Joann Sherwood, originally began her professional life as a dancer. After studying with several prestigious spiritual teachers, she began her own classes. When I met her, she had already inspired many students as well as brought them helpful knowledge and techniques to enhance their personal as well as professional development.

A most special aspect of her work was the array of remarkable individuals she presented to us in her monthly lecture series. However, one of the best lessons I learned from any of them was that regardless how holy or how knowledgeable a teacher might be, he or she was also a human being, with normal behaviors. There was one who fretted about his tea, another about his scheduling, and so on. It was enlightening. I was able to observe these issues because Joann had put me on a committee to look after their needs. It was heartening to me. I learned and observed, and finally completely understood I didn’t have to be perfect to be spiritual.

I first met the late Father Angelo Rizzo, my second special teacher, at one of Joann’s monthly gatherings. He spent a part of every year in Brazil doing missionary work, and the remainder in and around New England, speaking and preaching about how the mind is the healer. This was more than forty-five years ago. Stephen and I got to know him personally while we were living in Marblehead. We offered to help him write a book featuring the themes of his teaching. He agreed.

These were not traditionally Catholic nor were they usual for a priest to be espousing. He gave us a title and his lecture tapes to work from. “I Believe Using Mind Power We are All Healers” was typed up and then fashioned into the book. His precepts were simple. While there were others, these first two have guided my life for the last forty or more years: All is a belief. You can choose your beliefs.

With his help as well as that of others, I have been given a better understanding why things work the way they do, and how to navigate the world in general. I consider myself most fortunate, and I am grateful to him and to all my many wonderful teachers.

May you find helpful teachers for your spiritual path.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Questions, comments, suggestions? Love to hear from you. Make my day; write to me at tshahal@gmail.com. I promise to write back.

Heartwings Love Notes 2040: Gifts My Father Gave Me

Posted on June 16, 2024 by pujakins

Heartwings says, “Gifts may be actual and not physical, either or both.”

It’s time to celebrate fathers, and I have been thinking about my dad and how special he was to me, and also to the many people who appreciated his witty behavior. He loved to be entertaining as well as to entertain. Cocktail parties were his chief delight and he gave them often.

He was a generous person. One memory I have is of him sitting by the living room fireplace at Christmas time, wrapping the generous gifts he gave to the gardeners and caretakers of the estates he did business with. He was a horticulturist by nature, like his grandfather, and professionally, an arborist. He truly enjoyed his work and he was very good at it, able to size up a landscape and improve the views from the windows of the any home he was hired to work for.

One special gift he gave me was a love of trees plus the ability to spot what they might need done to improve them. He often took me with him, especially in the summer, when he drove around either supervising his men where they were working or estimating the work to be done for those who had hired him and the company he worked for. As I travel the roads of my town and its neighbors, to this day, I notice trees and find myself thinking of their needs.

He loved flowers and grew beautiful roses. I wish I had inherited that ability. My efforts to grow them have not met with success. I did inherit his love for flowers, buying them to bring their loveliness into my home when I can. My mother once told me that when they were newly married and he was an aspiring playwright, Daddy would spend the grocery money on flowers leaving them forced to have oatmeal to eat for supper. On special occasions, he would often provide my mother and me with corsages. She would get an orchid, while I got a fragrant gardenia, which I loved.

Above all, he was generous with his time and energy, serving in a volunteer capacity as treasurer to a variety of local organizations. He read for the blind on a local radio station, and I’m sure did other kind actions I never knew about. He was deeply religious, attended his Episcopalian church every Sunday, and took us to services on Christmas and Easter, which I loved, another significant gift.

No one is perfect. Neither was he. But the gifts he gave me far outweigh any negative aspects of his character. He set me an important example of the importance of being of service that has increasingly guided my life. Working on behalf of the greater good is what I call it. It’s about showing up for a need. Whether caring for the landscape or for the world at large, my father set a fine example.

May you remember your fathers’ gifts with joy.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Please, if you have stories to share, write to me and share them. I so enjoy hearing from my readers. Email me at tashahal, at Gmail.com, and check out my blog at http://tashasperspective.com.

Heartwings Love Notes 2039 The Joy of Friends

Posted on June 9, 2024 by pujakins

Heartwings says, ” In so many ways in our lives, friends are important.”

My childhood years were lived in a rural setting, without close neighbors or other nearby children. For all intents and purposes, I was an only child for more than eight years, until the first of my three siblings were born. It was as if we were two families in one, for I was too old to connect with them as playmates or companions, nor was I encouraged to do so. My mother was happy for me to entertain myself, and I did.

She played games with me sometimes, however, I spent most of my time alone. I read books avidly, sometimes going through one a day. My father would bring me a stack from the library each week, and my parents also had a good selection of the classics like the Count of Monte Cristo and Treasure Island. My favorite book was The Swiss Family Robinson, which I read over and over, imagining myself as part of their adventures as they lived ingeniously on a deserted island after a shipwreck.

Besides reading books, I played imaginary games and fixed up my doll house, creating furniture out of match boxes and other small items. Sometime around age nine, when I was in the third grade, I acquired a friend, and she and I often played together on weekends. She wasn’t around in the summer because she went to camp, while I was left alone again to wander the fields and climb trees. She was my first real friend.

Over time, I had others although they were often few and far between. Even the first half of my life as an adult followed the same pattern: One or two special friends that came and went as time and circumstance unfolded. One very dear woman was also a mother. We often combined our children and went to the beach or a movie together. It was a special time in my life. Then my life changed radically and I began to meet and interact with a great many people, and in the process, I began to make many friends.

After a first half of life with so few friends, it seems a wonderful thing to have an abundance. Some are and some are not still present in my life, and there are friends I have not laid eyes on for years. Yet that makes no difference; my affection for them has not diminished with time. I still wonder how they are long after they are no longer in contact with me. The lesson I have had to learn and surely have had many opportunities to do so, is that people do grow away into different interests, or even lifestyles. Yet although we have parted, and even if we are no longer close, these friends are still in my heart.

There is much truth in the saying, “People come into your life for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime.” I have learned to find joy in all my friendships, whether long or short.

May your friendships be a source of joy in your life.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS I welcome correspondence and encourage you to share your thoughts, feelings and suggestions. Do write to me at tashahal@gmail.com and make my day.

Heartwings Love Notes 2038 Precious Moments

Posted on June 1, 2024 by pujakins

Heartwings says, “Memories are fun to rummage through, and can be entertaining.”

I don’t use my cell phone often. Usually when I do, it’s to text one of a few friends to share with or for communication with family. So recently, when it rang with a number I didn’t recognize, I figured it was spam. I picked it up and found that it was a call from my grandson inviting us to visit on an app called Face Time. He lives with his wife in Saudi Arabia and he wanted to share his infant son, now four months, with Stephen and me.

Such precious moments are pages in my mental memory album. Some days they show up unbidden to help me recall a time and a place from the recent or even the distant past. One day I had an image of me in my skates, wobbling on a patch of frozen water in a wetland on my Great aunt’s property. I’m around eight years old and I’m wearing my snowsuit with its cute bonnet tied under my chin.

The feeling of the thick woolen snowsuit with its accompanying snow-pants comes back to me, the vivid memory expanding as I think about it. Nylon outerwear and lightweight winter clothing was in the future. Such memories are fun to enjoy and help me recall a childhood spent outdoors. As long as the weather was neither windy or too cold, I was appropriately dressed and sent out of doors to play among the trees and open fields of the property.

Recently I recalled how after there had been a great storm, a large section of a tree trunk, perhaps three feet in diameter and four or five long appeared in the wetlands we called a swamp, though by today’s standards, it really was not. I was delighted to see it and it became part of my fun, serving as a kind of home for small things. I played “house” a lot of the time. Then I found something really special. It was a pane of glass, not chipped, cracked or imperfect in any way, with blue and gold painted around the edges.

As I reflect on it now, it seems to me it was probably part of a picture frame, but then it was a magical item to be cherished and admired, a treasure given me by the sea. It became part of my log home and cherished accordingly. Then one day there was another great storm and when I went to where it had been, the log and the pane of glass were both gone without a trace. I was a bit sad, but soon went on to find other playthings. Still the items remain, standing out in my memory of my childhood spent outdoors in nature.

I know now how fortunate I was to have this special time growing up. So many children do not have that experience. Nature is such a fine teacher. Her school provides a lifelong experience that surpasses anything a computer or a cell phone can provide.

May you have recollections to enjoy from time to time

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Love to hear your reminiscences, and hoping you would like to share. Please write me at tashahal@gmail.com, and sign up here at my blog to get more Love Notes at http://tashasperspective/pujakins.

Heartwings Love Notes: Once a Mom Always a Mom

Posted on May 12, 2024 by pujakins

Heartwings says, “Mothers deserve to be acknowledged every day, not just one.”

Most of the time, once you have a baby, something changes. You are now a mom, with all that entails. A tug to the heartstrings connects you to the tiny being you now hold. It is a special bond, unlike any other because it can last as long as you live, and rightly so, because it surpasses distance and circumstance. It may be stronger for some than for others, however nature has probably designed it for us so the survival of the species is assured. It seems built in.

The day to honor mothers brings out remembrances of one’s own, as well as (hopefully) acknowledgement from one’s children. Having just this morning, the day before the official one, received a call from one of mine, I am still basking in the glow from it. I know I will hear more, as I did today. My dear family is good about keeping in touch. I feel most fortunate for this.

My own dear mother is now no longer in her physical body, yet she is still in my heart and always will be. Though like most parents and children we had our differences, for a long time now all has been forgiven. As we grow older most recognize that our parents do the best they can and we have benefited from their care even though we may feel that we suffered from aspects of it. Fortunately for most of us, wisdom comes with time and experience, and with hindsight we see the past in a different light.

Mothers often try to protect their children from what they see as bad or as harmful. This is based on their own experiences or what they have been told by others. It may or may not be relevant but as mothers, all we have to go on is what we believe at the time. And times do change. Once comic books were considered a bad influence. I remember there was a lot of talk about this. Now that is no longer an issue; other warnings have taken their place. Mothers still have the same desire to protect the young.

Does this ever go away? I think not. Speaking for myself I know my children must tire of my warning them to get enough sleep or to be mindful of something or other. A mother must allow for the continuation of the mother instinct as it persists regardless of our ages. No doubt, in my opinion this proves mothering must be built in.

The main thing, to my mind is to remember not to nag one’s children or to act disapproving if they somehow manage to ignore or not to heed our advice. Equally important is not to be critical as they learn things by making mistakes. It is truly said what is most important about making mistakes is to learn from them. Knowing she did the best she could, today I bless my dear mother, and I am grateful.

May you be a loving mom even if you have no one of your own to mother.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Tell me about your mom and what she did for you. I do so enjoy hearing from my readers. Write to me at tashahal@gmail.com, or better yet, sign up for my weekly column at http://tashasperspective.com

Heartwings Love Notes 2035 The Medicine Growing in Your Lawn

Posted on May 5, 2024 by pujakins

Heartwings says, “Eating your weeds is a health benefit of gardening.”

Whether you know it or not, you are most probably mowing and removing the medicinal herbs usually found in your lawn. Readers who are familiar with my columns in previous springs will be aware of my love for dandelions, however both the herbs known as purslane and plantain are probably unfamiliar. You think of these as weeds. The people selling weed killers will assure you they are. Those weed killers are as bad for you as they are for the weeds; they poison not just weeds, but pets, children and even people.

Dandelion greens are good in salad, and the bitter taste reminds us they are good for cleansing the liver and provide good vitamins—A, B6, K, as well as minerals. They can be eaten raw or cooked, which is usually how I use them, and mix well with other green leafy vegetables like kale, spinach, and chard. I often use my food processor to combine them after I have steamed them in very little water. I add olive oil and sometimes a chopped garlic clove for added healing qualities. I often do this ahead of the meal and reheat in more olive oil. This cooks the garlic, which can be too strong for many, otherwise.

Purslane is a tasty herb used mainly in salads, though it too can be steamed. It is a low growing plant, spreading out, with thick, reddish brown stems and flat fleshy leaves. It has a bit of a tang, especially when eaten raw. To quote from a recent article a friend sent me, from the internet, “Widely regarded as a weed in many parts of the world, purslane is in fact a nutritional powerhouse, packed with essential vitamins, minerals, and other valuable compounds.” I have often found it growing on the edges rather than in the main part of the lawn.

Plantain, pronounced with the accent on the first syllable, is a broad leaved, low growing plant. The veins branch out from the center stem, not each other. It has numerous health benefits whether eaten cooked or raw. I discovered its healing properties when I used it to staunch a shallow wound—it stopped the bleeding right away and helped it heal up quicky. A friend of mine told me that he had been in the woods and hurt himself. He found plantain, used it, and was greatly helped. I once recommended it to a young woman who had a long-term diabetic ulcer on her leg. Her parents called to tell me it had healed up soon after.

I recommend exploring these herbs for yourself and learning more. They have no side effects, nor do they cost you any money. Incidentally, dandelion roots help aerate the lawn, loosening the soil. I no longer have a lawn, so I do not have access to these herbs myself and I miss them. I can however buy dandelion greens at my supermarket, for which I am grateful.

May you discover good health whether or not you garden.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

P.S. Do you have a garden? I have in the past for most of my life, though not any more. I do have a few plants in pots, however. How about you? Write and tell me your garden tales, it’s such fun to share. Write me at tashahal@gmail.com. You can sign up on my blog to receive my Love Notes weekly as well as see past ones: https://tashasperspective.com/pujakins.

Heartwings Love Notes 2033 Beauty Everywhere I Look

Posted on April 21, 2024 by pujakins

Heartwings says, “It is well to appreciate whatever beauty appears as it does.”

Every day now when I open my bedroom curtains, I see the advance of spring. It is a grand treat to watch the advance of the season. The buds on the trees near my back porch are all in different stages of development. When I go for my exercise walks there, I observe the small, delicate baby leaves day by day as they unfurl from the originally tightly closed buds. They are visible on a bush growing close to one end of the porch. From the other end, there is a wondrous row of tall trees in various stages of unfolding.

When I am at my desk in the front of our apartment, I can see that the trees outside on the street where I live are now growing green. Only days before they bore only bare branches. Every spring I am reminded of how I would see the maple trees outside the windows of the high school I attended in Boston, grow green and leaf out as they expanded with the warming days. Then I would travel back home on the train, to where the buds on the branches of the trees around our house were still tightly closed, marveling at the difference.

Spring beauty is all pastel budding trees and flowering trees and bushes. Wherever I drive I first see the brilliant forsythia as it begins the floral procession, providing a special kind of sunshine on a cloudy day. That is followed by the abundant blossoms of the magnolia trees that burgeon in the yards and by the roadsides. Every spring I have to struggle to keep my eyes on the road as I drive.

Traveling the highway is another special treat, though mostly in the past for me. Most of my driving these days is local, and only in the daytime. Still, I do feel fortunate to be able to watch the development of the season as it moves across the land, even if it is from my window. One of the special things about New England is the wonderful and dramatic change that comes with each season. I even like the storms, as long as I can stay in and watch them from inside my home.

Summer heat and humidity will be along soon enough. It sounds like heresy to say it, yet I must admit it is my least favorite season. I tend to feel listless and uncomfortable in the summer, and I am very grateful for our air conditioner, as is Stephen. I am always happy when fall, my favorite season, arrives and starts to transform the landscape. My appetite picks up as does my energy. In spring that starts to dwindle and it almost vanishes in the summer.

Still, that is to come, and for now it is time to enjoy what this season has to offer. I am grateful that I can appreciate the loveliness everywhere I look.

May you find beauty to see wherever you are.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

P.S. What do you find that gives you joy in the seasons? Please do share with me either here or at tashahal@gmail.com. I so enjoy hearing from readers. You can also read this and past Love Notes on my Facebook page and my blog, https://tashasperspective.com/Pujakins