Tag Archives: Viewpoint

Heartwings Love Notes 2017 About Those Resolutions

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Heartwings says, “Here’s something to think about for those resolutions.”

When I was thinking about the new year coming, and New Year resolutions, I came to a realization: Much of what I might think to choose concerning the making of resolutions is actually something I think about doing all the time, anyway. In other words, at this point my would-be resolutions are part of an ongoing daily practice. Perhaps this might be true for others as well.

What I now experience probably began at the time when I first encountered Yoga. That was back when I was in my late twenties with five children. I was very stressed and having trouble sleeping. Knowing how stressed I was, a good friend gave me a book on Yoga. I remember the author, Richard Hittleman.

The book is long gone from my library; however, it was a relatively simple text that focused primarily on the exercises, with good illustrations. I found it to be helpful, and events unfolded from there, ending up with my becoming a yoga teacher for a number of years. I attended many classes and took teacher training as well as studied Yoga philosophy. I learned and grew from this, and eventually I developed my daily practice.

Practice is something one might think of as what a musician or an athlete does, or something to be repeated until one knows it by heart. A practice can also be something one incorporates into one’s everyday life or lifestyle. In my case the kind of meditation I learned from yoga, even after my career as a teacher ended, became something I began to do daily. From it I acquired the skills of mindfulness and as well as ways to reduce stress and discomfort. Together with my husband Stephen, I began teaching that. as well.

Ultimately, all this evolved into an ability to stay in the present moment, at least most of the time, as well as to find out when I wasn’t there. And this is what I mean by a practice. Which is why I don’t necessarily go for the idea of New Year’s resolutions. I am already working on what I might consider using.

There seems no reason to make a list and try to follow what I am already practicing on a daily basis. I wonder if when readers look at their potential resolutions, they might discover the same for themselves. How we choose what to resolve is going to most likely be things we need to be doing or want to be doing anyway. If we thing we need to make a special effort, we might make that the resolution. For instance we might say, “I resolve to keep on keeping on.” I believe that way we might have more success.

It is often said that the resolutions of most do not last past their first month. If instead of separating our resolutions from everyday life we see them as part of our ongoing experience, they might even last out the year.

May your New Year celebration be happy and your happiness endure.

Blessings and Best Regards, Tasha Halpert

Heartwings Love Notes 2014 Catalogues Abound Now

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Heartwings says, “What to buy for gifts depends upon many factors.”

Every day more catalogues arrive in our small, personal mailbox. Once I found a bill squashed in the bottom of it because the mailbox had been so stuffed. How did the senders get our names? This is one mystery I know not how to solve. I used to call or email and ask to be removed from their list. The excess catalogues seemed to me to be a great waste of paper and postage. I’d even asked at the post office about getting rid of them, but their job is to deliver, not to hold back. Since I have no solution, I just keep discarding all but the few I welcome.

I do keep a small number that we order from. There is a food catalogue that give gifts from each year. They are reasonable and don’t suggest we buy pears that are 2 or 3 dollars each. Tasty I am sure but rather expensive for something that they don’t use fancy ingredients to manufacture. Some of our favorites offer money off if you order before a specific date. This is handy and merciful, especially if one remembers to order before the due date.

When I was ten or twelve, I made the first order I can recall from a catalogue. As I remember, it was a smallish black and white one, with things I thought might please my parents. I bought them a set of ashtrays that featured a heart, a diamond, a spade, and a club on each and were shaped to fit on the corners of a bridge table. How proud and how grown up I felt to have bought them a special present from a catalogue.

My parents and their friends all smoked cigarettes, didn’t everybody? I believe tobacco was different then, however I can’t prove it. My great aunt always had a box of cigarette on her coffee table and most every adult lit up after dinner. That was then, when doctors recommended a certain brand for whatever reason I no longer remember. No one smoked constantly, it was a simple pleasure to be indulged from time to time, not a need to be satisfied. I suspect you won’t find any ashtrays in catalogues these days.

The items in some are almost irresistible, until I remember that my friends do not have any more space for new, ornamental objects than I do. I remember a long time ago reading a quote from someone requesting only gifts she could “Eat, use up, or wear.” Maybe that’s why I often end up with lovely soap, much of which I can’t use, unfortunately, due to the oils I am allergic to. I am also loaded with fancy teas. And nice as they are, I don’t need any more knit hats, either.

May you enjoy choosing from catalogues as you prepare to give your presents,

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS If you have thoughts and/or suggestions to share, I’d be so glad to receive them. For more Love Notes, check my blog at http://tashasperspective.com and click on Pujakins. You can sign up there to receive them weekly as well.

Heartwings Love Notes 2012: When Listening is Enough

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Heartwings says, “Listening is an art you can practice any time, with anyone.”

Remember when you were little and you tried to get someone—any grown-up to listen to you? They would either be alone and focused on a task, or talking to another grown-up. You’d speak louder and louder until they listened, only to dismiss what you were trying to tell them and go back to their grown-up doings. It was no fun being ignored, and often it was frustrating.

 Although today things are usually different for most children, it can still be hard, sometimes for a child to get someone’s attention. Getting a person to hear you means getting them to listen. Shouting seldom gets the kind of attention you may actually want. In my long life I have come to discover that in order to get people to hear you, you must first listen to them.

Listening is an art, and it is not often taught to children or to adults either. In most conversations, participants listening are actually thinking about how or with what ideas they will respond. Many of us do not really listen to what others are saying. Not only might the other person be speaking with a hidden agenda, he or she might simply be expressing feelings and not need more than compassionate sympathy.

Most   people hope to be helpful. They want others to feel happy, comfortable, or at least feel or be better. Toward that end they will make suggestions, give advice, or generally try to smooth things over. Many times this is not really what is needed. The person expressing the complaint may actually only be seeking sympathy and/or compassion. Often there is not much that can be done to “fix” things. To try to do so can even make situations worse. We all have our own ideas what might be done, and sadly can’t be, for whatever reason. Many of these begin with “If only…”.

All too often the phrase “if only” infers there is a situation which involves a change in a person, the attitude of another, or of circumstances which are fixed and immovable. The desired change may not be practical or even possible. Furthermore, what is actually vitally important is to acknowledge the complainer’s feelings. Whether the listener feels the complaint is justified or not, it is important for the that person to comprehend that to the complainer, it is.

There is an important rule or guide to behavior that is also part of the ancient wisdom: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  However, it is important to add: If you were they. If you complained, how would you like to be told what you did wrong? Or how you could fix something, if you hadn’t asked for help? When someone speaks of his or her trouble, what is often most relevant and definitely kinder is, “I am so sorry; I sympathize;” or just, “how hard that must be for you.” Simply listening is often enough.

May you find helpful ways to support those who are troubled or grieving.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Do you have stories to share or comments? I’d love to hear from you. Please write to me at tashahal@mail.com, and do check my blog to sign up so you won’t miss a Love Note at http://tashasperspective.com and click on Pujakins to get connected if you need to.

Beauty Is Where You Find It

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Heartwings says, “Open your eyes to see without judgement, and find beauty.”

Surrounded by the beauty of fall, it is easy to get jaded, to feel anything else is hardly worth noticing. However, all too soon the branches will be bare. There will be a few dry brown leaves clinging to the Oak tree branches and lots more of the once colorful foliage beginning to mat on the ground under foot. Shivery weather makes us hurry along then, and it takes an effort to look around us as we go from one place to the next. Our minds can be preoccupied with what we ought to be doing next, along with many other things.

But wait, there’s more that we may be missing. If we see color as the sole beautiful aspect of the trees, we need to look again. Check out the graceful loveliness of the tree branches now seen for themselves against the sky. Gaze upon the shapes of the branches revealed now, naked and proud, for all to see. The true individuality of the bare branches presents a beauty that is very special, and only if we look for it will we be able to appreciate it.

I try to see beauty wherever I look. It’s a kind of game I play with myself, and when I spot that special, perhaps unusual beauty, I take a mental photograph for my little interior album. Weeds, for instance often make wonderful subjects. Dried stalks make interesting shadows on the snow. Random green sprouts, and even occasional flowers that brave the cracks between the curb and the street can present a wonderful example of fortitude with a loveliness all its own.

It is a joy to notice such things. If our minds are preoccupied with thoughts, worries, dismay from the past, or concerns for the future, we won’t see much of anything except where our steps or wheels are taking us. We need to focus on the world around us, focus to look out of our eyes at what is there to see. I recognize that for my part, my years of meditation practice have helped me to be able to do that. I was once far too inundated with thoughts that revolved around unnecessary mental stress to allow me to see clearly whatever beauty was there to be seen.

I remember years ago remarking about the beauty of spring to someone I was speaking with at a party. She replied with a sigh that she hadn’t noticed. She went on to say she’d been preoccupied with some recent stress or other and hadn’t been paying attention. I felt sorry for her. Yes, there is much happening in the world that is tragic, yet there is nothing we can do about it. However, I believe we can at least add our appreciation and gratitude for what is lovely and good. It might help in some small way. Beauty is there to be seen, if only we have the eyes to see it.

May you be able to open your eyes and see clearly whatever beauty shines.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS If you have visions or ideas to share, please write to me at tashahal@gmail.com, or simply reply where you read me. I enjoy hearing from readers so much.

Heartwings Love Notes 2005 The Time Between

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Heartwings says, “The time between is an opportunity to be present with change.”

Driving the streets of the local countryside, I am struck by the green foliage that is not as yet committed to its autumn display. Here and there I see a tinge of red, a flash of yellow, with more of that than red. Fall is late this year. What is now called Indigenous People’s Day comes up this weekend, and the leaf peeping traffic will surely be diminished.

The green leaves are much darker green than they were, yet the nights have not been cool enough for the complete demise of their green. However, the warm sun of days in the seventies does feel welcome. Its nice to get out for a walk or to do errands in the sunshine. Happily, with the cooler weather my appetite begins to return and I have more energy to cook.

I seem to remember that in years gone by, frost had visited my garden by now. It seems only a short time ago that my kitchen windowsill was lined with green tomatoes hopefully intended to ripen. Usually, the garden was in need of weeding before the ground hardened, and sometimes I just let the cold frost them and wait until the spring to pull them up. The danger is that the seeds would get into the ground and grow more weeds.

My gardening days are over. With the exception of a few pots of succulents that spend the warm months on the porch, and the occasional basil plant to be used for cooking, I no longer nurture a garden of plants. Do I miss my spiral garden, from Sartell Road, or the smaller oblong one of our Warren Street home? Not really. I wouldn’t be able to manage the weeds and lean on my cane for balance at the same time. I haven’t tended a normal garden for close to ten years. My porch garden is enough for me, and when it leaves to stay with a kind friend for the winter, I will still have several houseplants to tend. They will do to satisfy my need for greenery. It is all right to follow the seasons of life and live appropriately by them.

On any given day now, I hover between getting up and lingering under the covers. I stay in when it rains and have the luxury of grocery delivery that saves me from shopping when I want to stay home. I’m not ready for the proverbial rocking chair on the porch as yet, but I do feel justified in taking things easier.

The seasons of life and the seasons of the year carry appropriate themes. My great grandchildren are in their own spring, my grandchildren enjoy their summer. Time suggests the appropriate tasks. The days between each season lead us to prepare for the next. I’m almost ready to get out my winter sweaters and warm coats. The trees are nearly ready to clothe themselves in their lovely fall garments. The seasons unfold.

May you be present with change as it occurs,

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Please feel free to comment or make suggestions for topics, or just to share. I do love to hear from readers, and I do thank you for reading.

Heartwings Love Notes 2004: Dealing with Disappointment

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Heartwings says, “There is sunshine behind the clouds, when you look for it.”

I’ve been reading Tarot Cards since the Seventies, both professionally and for my own edification. The cards can be used to clarify situations. For instance, the five of cups in my Tarot deck refers to disappointment. Generally, it shows three spilled goblets and two full ones. The person on the card is looking at the spilled ones and not at the two full ones on the shelf behind him. The implication is that while there may be something amiss, all is not lost. It is imperative to look at the full ones to see what has been saved or perhaps even gained.

Oddly, as soon as I had chosen the theme for this article, I began experiencing disappointments. They were small, not major ones, yet still had to be dealt with. Something I had been counting on failed to materialize. It was more than anything a slap to my ego, yet it needed to be resolved. I have found that if I let small negative thoughts hang around, they can grow into big resentments.

Another difficulty is that negativity can attract more of the same. It’s like trash and litter. Left on the street, it will grow. Someone sees some and adds his or her contribution just because there is already some there. It’s the same in my home. If I leave something on my arm chair, next thing I know there are several more items there, too. If I keep the chair clear that does not usually happen.

I have several ways to deal with disappointment, and they all begin by acknowledging my feelings. If I try to gloss over my sadness or dismay, I can’t deal with it at all. I can’t pull the weeds in the garden of my life if I don’t or won’t see them. This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way, and there are times I get to repeat it. Being a naturally cheerful person, I had to learn not to trivialize feelings of disappointment and sweep them under the metaphorical rug. 

Once I learned to look directly at the spilled cups, I could look around for the full ones. Once I had dealt with my feelings of loss, I could look to see what I might have gained. That is what the full cups represent. It has been my experience that there is always a benefit—perhaps small but yet significant, that comes from any loss. In my case, one of the losses became an opportunity to avoid additional, unnecessary calories. Another led to several opportunities I would otherwise not have had.

Not every gain is immediately apparent, and they may take time to discover. Nor am I talking about major sorrows, such as a significant loss. I am speaking of disappointments that occur on a daily or weekly basis, small stones, or snares on the pathway of life. When I treat them as bringing me opportunities, that is what they will do.

May you seek the full cups and find them easily.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Do you have a story to share, or a comment? I always enjoy my readers’ responses very much. Do let me hear from you, and visit my blog on WordPress for more Love Notes. http://tashasperspective.com and click on Pujakins.

Heartwings Love Notes 2001: Eating Humble Pie

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Heartwings says, “Humble pie is an acquired taste.”

As a child, I was clumsy and uncoordinated. Being tall for my age may have had something to do with it, however I also have poor proprioception. That means I lack awareness of the space around me. For instance, it’s easy for me to bump into things or kick them, or worse, stumble over them. Lacking in coordination, I did badly in most athletic situations. I played goalie in field hockey because I didn’t have to run. The problem with that was I felt guilty whenever the opposing team scored a goal. Sports really was my least favorite physical occupation.
Then I studied yoga. I began with a book which a friend gave me when I told him I was having trouble sleeping. I studied the pictures, followed the text, and found I was indeed sleeping sooner and more soundly. Next someone I knew announced she was teaching a series of eight yoga classes, which I eagerly took. Fortuitously, I discovered another teacher, signed up for her classes, took her teacher training, and became one of her teachers. How proud I was of my abilities and how good I felt about my new career.
Then I had an accident to my neck. Because many of the important postures put pressure on my neck, I had to give up both teaching yoga and doing it for myself. I was very disappointed. However, there was nothing I could do about it. By this time anyway, with five children, motherhood had become a fulltime occupation. I still meditated regularly and used some of the relaxation exercises I had learned to help me through my busy days.
I prided myself on all that I could get done. My days were full, yet my ability to cope and remain calm was something I cherished. Things went on like this for many years. The children grew up, my life changed, I was now married to a man who, unlike my former spouse, loved to entertain. We started an inner peace center, teaching meditation and classes. I never knew how many people we might host at any given meal. I was proud to be able to feed them at a moment’s notice. Spending hours in the kitchen was no problem; I loved cooking for people.
Many years passed. I found myself slowing down. I found I had acquired Parkinson’s disease. I got tired faster; I could no longer spend long hours preparing and cooking food. Slowed steps made trips to the grocery store tiring. I had to rely more on frozen foods and mixes. Again, I found myself having to cope with no longer being able to do what I used to do. This included mending and other activities requiring dexterity. Once proud of my ability to surmount obstacles, I have to ask for help with them. These days, I’ve had to get used to eating large helpings of humble pie. However, somehow I’m getting used to the taste.

May you enjoy whatever you need to deal with as you learn and grow.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Please share any recipes you have for Humble Pie, I so enjoy hearing from my precious readers. Please email me at tashahal@gmail.com. Enjoy past Love Notes at my blog: httpl://tashasperspective.com.

Heartwings Love Notes 1098 Where Can It Be

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Heartwings says, “Putting things back where they belong is important.”

As a child I was taught to be tidy. Emily, the practical nurse my parents hired to help care for me when I was around two or so, tried hard to make sure I learned to put my toys, and later, my clothing away. She was with us until I was around eight years old when she left to get married and have a family of her own. Unlike my mother, she was patient and physically affectionate.

I am not faulting my mother in any way. Her behavior was molded by her upbringing. While kind and a good mother, she grew up with strict German parents who did not encourage demonstrative behavior. Even as a grandmother she was reluctant to accept or to give physical affection. Fun and fond behavior was not a priority, neatness was. 

Once I was married and had children of my own, I did my best to be as tidy as I could. This grew more difficult with each addition to the family, which eventually added up to five children. I didn’t have a lot of time to devote to being neat or organized. My mother often criticized me for my “messy house,” and it never seemed to occur to her that there was a good reason for this. I thought it was more important to enjoy and care for my children than to be neat.

Neatness does have virtues beyond looking nice. Having things in order means when I need to find something, I’ll know where it is and can find it without any difficulty. That is why the saying, “a place for everything and everything in its place,” has been my guideline as long as I can remember. For instance, I try hard to keep all of my tools where I can easily reach them and as close as possible to where they will be used. Being a systematic Scorpio, I have sectioned off the shelves in my pantry by assigning them to what I can make or do with the contents.

However, unfortunately this works as long as I am the only person putting things away. Also, there often is more to be put away than the shelves can conveniently hold. This results in items get shoved to the back, effectively disappearing from view and becoming unavailable. So, although I no longer have little children to run around after or an eagle-eyed mother judging my attempts to be tidy, I struggle still with my tidiness conundrums.

The current state of my health doesn’t help either. Despite Stephen’s great help, much does not get done. There are days I simply only have enough energy to cook meals and see to my immediate emails, not to mention attend doctors’ appointments. Prioritizing becomes important, and as it was once so it is again: I do what is important and let the rest go.

Reaching and Grasping

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Heartwings says, “It is very helpful for one’s reach not to exceed one’s grasp.”

Reaching for things is somewhat more challenging for me than it used to be. I am often faced with the need to ask for help. Fortunately, Stephen is usually available, and though he has also shrunk, at least he is much taller than I am.  Sadly, I have diminished from five feet four inches to five feet one and a half or maybe two. In addition, I have lost flexibility. Asking for help is getting more necessary, and I am getting more used to doing that. It seems there is always more to be learned.

In a yoga class and lecture that I attended many years ago now—yet somehow it seems just a year or two have past, the visiting sage told us this. “My mantra is I know nothing; I want to learn.” I balked at first at the seemingly negative affirmation. Affirming I know nothing? That didn’t sound right. But affirming I wanted to learn, did. So, I gave the whole sentence some thought.

Eventually, light descended upon my brain, and I finally understood. This sentence describes what is called Beginners Mind. What that means is that at the beginning I expect to learn, so it is important not to cloud the mind with what I think I might know. When I think I know something, my mind does not generally seek more information.

If I think I have grasped whatever it is I need to learn, I most probably will no longer reach out further with my mind. It is more important than you might think for your grasp to exceed your reach. Because there is always more to be learned, whether it is the how-to of a project, the pitfalls, or else the simple understanding or a further interpretation of what something might mean. We cannot always know how much more there is to know. 

When I look at each day with a beginner’s mind attitude, there are wonderful conundrums that arise. They give me something to think about other than the dismayingly negative tales of misbehavior that often comprise the daily doings of the world at large. The arguments and disagreements people have that stoke violence could so often be resolved by a better understanding or even a simple agreement to disagree.

For me the world I live in is filled with interesting experiences to be explored with discoveries to be made along the way. Perhaps because I am a poet, I especially delight in finding beauty that has simply created itself. The lovely weeds right now along the roads, waving in the breezes from passing cars, are a delight to be seen. The delicate Queen Ann’s lace, mingled with the tall, graceful Artemesia are probably destined eventually to be cut down, yet each day they remain, they fill the eye that gazes upon them with their beauty. I am grateful to be able to see them and to find something so special within my grasp.

May you be able to look upon life with a beginner’s mind.

Blessings and best regards, Tasha

PS Do you have comments, questions, or stories to share? I would love to hear from you, and I find great joy in your correspondence.

Heartwings Love Notes 1095 Whatever Happened to Elbow Grease

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Heartwings says: “There’s lots to be said for elbow grease.”

I was chatting with a friend of mine who is an energetic cleaner. “You don’t use any cleaning products with chlorine?” She asked me.  “How do you get things clean? No harsh chemicals? No oven cleaners?”

I know she can scrub endlessly away at something until it sparkles, and she thinks I’m a bit strange because of the products I use. I pointed out to her that vinegar, baking soda and salt can clean almost everything and result in no harm to the environment.

“Then you’ve got to scrub so hard to make them work,” she complained.

“Whatever happened to elbow grease?” I asked her with a laugh. “You go to a gym and pay money to exercise. When I do my housework, I get many of the same benefits.” She shook her head and changed the subject. I smiled to myself and thought about the money I save by not purchasing expensive, harsh, ill smelling, cleaning products. I use things I find right on my pantry shelves, plus a select few I buy at my market.

If you prefer commercial products, you can purchase environmentally sound cleaning products at your health food store and these days at some enlightened supermarkets. There are a few more that are available everywhere and legitimately good for the environment, like Murphy’s Oil Soap which smells wonderful and harms nothing, and good old Bon Ami—hasn’t scratched yet. I also discovered a little baking soda and a bit of scrubbing do away with tea stains in my mugs. Vinegar cleans the toilet and kills germs. It stays clean longer too. Pour vinegar and sprinkle with baking soda on your oven floor. Leave over night and wipe up for a clean oven in the morning.

I don’t mind a little extra scrubbing. I am beginning to see all housework as a form of benevolent exercise. Apparently, I am not alone in my thinking as I recently read something to the effect that those who analyze such things now include time spent cleaning and scrubbing as a valid form of exercise. This is good news for those of us who once thought housework was a necessary evil. Now it can serve two purposes and become a necessary good. Those who are pressed for time who have children at home might persuade them of the virtues of washing the floors as an alternative to tedious soccer practice. Although I’m pretty sure that to most children over the age of eight, almost anything is preferable to housework,

Along with Bon Ami, keep a shaker of baking soda on the edge of your sink and use them instead of an ill smelling scouring powder. Try sprinkling baking soda on your rugs overnight and vacuuming it up in the morning. You’ll be surprised how clean things will smell. And remember, elbow grease is not only free, it reduces calories and trims the arms and chest as well. Powerful stuff, elbow grease!

Hope you have a good supply!

Blessings and best regards, Tasha Halpert

PS Do you have any good cleaning tips or suggestions? It is such a treat to hear from readers. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.